another second post...

Here's the second post of the day. Not that unusual, but not usual either. But might as well make it a short one, because I'm bored and I feel the need to say something.

Anyone know Lucky? That Britney song. Yeah yeah, it was not an original piece, but it's the first Spears' that I could connect with. I feel like this Lucky in a way. I'm actually quite lucky a guy, but for some reason there seems to be something missing in my life. I have so much going for me, and yet I feel like breaking down sometimes. Is it the age? Is it the society? Or is it just me? I have everything I could possibly need right now, and survive and even flourish right now. And yet, I'm barely scraping through these days, although emotionally and physically I'm sound at the end of the day, there seems to be an unseen burden holding me down.

I want to do something; an emotional outlet like crying, or a physical one like beating something to bits, but somehow can't bring myself to do it. Maybe I should try doing something else, like nothing. Become as silent as a stone, speaking but necessary words to get me through. Ending all verbal socialising and all physical trigger responses. Enough to survive in a social world. Perhaps narrowing down my focus could help broaden the scope of my requirements in life. Maybe the longing will go away. Maybe.

I need tea. Coffee does nothing, and I in turn do nothing for it. Much like beer, but I like wine. Yeah.

Dependency

meth
ice
coffee
tea
beer
booze
music
tv
all these are but
figments of dependency
and remnants of our humanity
they strip away dignity
and remove all posibility
of living independantly
because of what they be
dependency