singles and liches...

Was interesting catching up with the ex today. Turns out we have very different perspectives on what the facts are.

Strange feeling I get when I find out he's been dating someone. The sensation is a bit like finding out you have an exam you forgot you had to take. Not quite jealousy, definitely not envy. Maybe frustration? But even then not quite.

The other revelation is that I have absolutely nothing going on in my life. There's no love, there's no money, and the job actually is kinda boring, when it doesn't suck. The one possible glimmer is that I might be getting a better offer next week. But we'll see.

Don't know why I bother doing the body beautiful, considering my rather lacklustre results so far.

It's another reminder that I've been ready to quit this game for over two decades now. Just never found the means. A friend, who spent most of her teens and a lot of her early twenties trying to dissuade me from such, has herself finally seen the point.

They say that to create true misery, you do not cause a great catastrophe. That only inflicts shock and numbness. It is sufficient, and necessary, to inflict many minor difficulties. Enough to break the spirit. I have long given up the ghost. I'm left with a highly intelligent but unmotivated corpse. Does this make me a lich?