writer's block...

I'm having a serious writer's block now. And Wen refusing to look at the screen while chatting is making me feel horrible. The funny thing is I don't know why she's doing that. Must be something I did. Sigh. I must have done something really terrible. Oh. Now she's looking. Great. Feel better now.

I don't know why it is, but there's really nothing much to write when I actually sit down to write about stuff that I muchly think about throughout the day. Okay, I'll try it this way. I'll write whatever comes to mind. First off, I found a bee in my sea coconut today. Grossness. Was about to put the spoon in my mouth too. Got a replacement. Okay, that place in Mamak Square behind the market may be cheap, but I highly doubt the hygiene in that place. And also, there's a huge bunch of monkeys in that place. Like, insanity. And cats. The cats are really bold, cuz they will come at you and actually place their furry little paws in your laps and give you that I-want-food look. Sorry, kitties, I don't have that soft a heart. Besides, you're dirty. Mehness.

Walking in the back alleys to Mamak Square is fascinating. It's a much better shortcut to the place than the road we used to go by. I tell you, SS15 is a veritable maze. The front roads are quite clearcut, but it's the back alleys that's really cool. They were amazingly well built, even in this ruined condition, they kinda remind me of those abandoned cities in those movies. And they're really really maze like. So cool. But easy to get lost. And rather dangerous too. Place is full of illegal structures, so it's rather risky. Kinda like those doomsday settings, like after the great war, the remains of humanity scraped together and lived in the ruins. So cool. But tiring to walk. Meh.

Combat mode is great. All those morons that usually get in my way, they just step aside. I should keep this up. But it's fucking tiring. Gotta find a more efficient way of doing things. At least the lecturers don't seem vengeful. They take things well. Maybe cuz of the nature of their job. Oh well. I hate public relations. But it's the main reason for the existence of the line of work I'm pushing for: published arts. Mehness. It always comes back to bite me. Hope some things won't.

I almost cried during English today. In the middle of my presentation. It was on my poem Teardrops. It wasn't so much that everyone was mean to me, lolz, like that would make me feel like crying. Rather it was the subject matter. That poem, if you recall, was written during a terrible period of my life. Actually, it was only a week, but a week is a long time when you're my age. Lolz. Still, it made my voice quaver during the presentation, which it never does. When I sat down, I was shaking in my shoes. Apparently my face was very pale. No idea. But I really felt like crying. Maybe too many memories. Sigh.

Today is Wen's first day in Form 6. Apparently, it was a very plain day, so much so that she wrote a pair of poems. Amazingness. Lolz, not saying she can't write, oh she really can, but she don't do it often. Not that I've written much recently. Missing her so much. Be seeing her on Friday. Going to see Revenge of the Sith with a large bunch of people I don't know. And her. I think I should get her something special, seeing as how she was surrounded by the rather glittery world of MidValley (actually not that glittery, but way better than staying at home), and having very little part in it. So, I think I should make it a point to do something nice. Lolz. I love Wen. A lot. To an extent I don't fully understand. Like the way I don't really understand why I hate myself. Lolz.

Is it fair if I run a show that I do not like? I realise that everytime I try to take something I enjoy doing and am actually good at, it turns out horribly wrong. The problem with being 'brilliant' is that you tend to have many many ideas, most of which are retarded. So I've had about 20 plans on how to make money, almost 6 of which I've tried halfway and given up. Remember the wedding photography plan? Gagalted. And now I have an unnecessarily powerful camera. Sigh. Might as well make the most of it. I will be forced to take an insanely high amount of pictures from now on. Might see the camera as a permanent fixture on me. Like, on Friday, I'll bring it with me. I think I'll ask my dad for my own harddisk. Or maybe I could utilise the 2G for storage on my Zen.

Talking about my Zen, I miss it so much! Sent it to service last week Friday. Been struggling to survive without it. Feeling so, unmusical, without it. Sigh. I want it back, like now! Sigh. I really want it back. Maybe I should go buy another one. Argh! I want my Zen!

Don't know how much I've written so far. It's unlikely that this blog attracts much traffic. Most of the posts are quite meh. And I thought I was a good reader of human behaviour. Apparently not. Oh well. I don't think I'll ever get to this level. Whatever. I don't really care. The only time in my life I've ever felt popular was the most naive and conceited point in my life. And I can see how I was used. Oh well. I don't grudge for long, but I don't forget slights easily either.

I think this blog needs another survey soon. Maybe that would make it more interesting. I read somewhere that to make the public interested is to take their input seriously. People like to think they did something important to influence stuff. Mehness. We shall see what eville plan I have for taking over the minds of random people. It would help if some traffic could get diverted here in the first place. Crapness.

Black Sky

Black sky at night
Sunless expanse over my head
With many eyes winking above
And the great latern hanging above
Who hides her light as she chooses

Black sky at night
The canvas I paint my hopes on
That the white spots show
My hopes on despair anew
Giving point to the future

Black sky at night
The backdrop of our stage
Where she and I have our play
The story of our love
Even as the lights on them dim
That final kiss closes the scene

Black sky

Jin out.