about relationships...

Just got back from another touching episode of Everwood. At least, that's what I think it's called. I don't usually watch it, just that it happened to be on TV when I was half-napping downstairs, so entertained my deranged mine. Anyways, it was about relationships of the male-female kind as well as that of a father-child kind. Which brings me back to the main reason I'm writing.

I can't say how happy I am for Wen on her sucessful interview. Yeah, when the interviewers remember your name, it usually is a sign you've passed, or at least come highly recommended. Like mentioned, really happy for her. However, I am a bit worried about one thing, which is probably quite irrelevant, and quite selfish, if you ask me. Yeah. Teaching training in UM will be around 5.5 years, that's what she tells me. And it starts in July. Sigh. As it is we don't see each other that much, and if she does get the offer and takes it up, I'll see even less of her. Hell, we could even be forced to seperate. That being the worst case scenario. Yeah, I'll probably be sad, but only for a short while. How can I be sad knowing she's doing something she wants to do (I think)? And besides, I'll probably only ever play a small miniscule part in her life, and it is not my place to stand in the way of the paving of the pathways of the rest of her life. What importance is a cobblestone in comparison to the road? If it's what you want, my sweetest, then go for it. If you decline on my consideration alone, you will break my heart, knowing that I was the stone that dissapeared in the road, causing the pothole that made you stumble. But if it's not what you want, then all the better, lolz. Nah, that's just selfish. I love you. You have my full support.

It's kinda strange how age should be a mitigating factor in a relationship. I have the tendency to believe that age plays little difference, as long as all biological requirements (a.k.a reproductive capacity) are met. I don't see what's so wrong with dating an older chick, or vice versa. As I know it, relationships are not built on the foundation of sex alone, which would be kinda sad, which would make us all baby machines, which is kinda redundant as a concept, cuz what would the babies be for? Likewise, I don't really see the issue of race or religion, if we take only the personal viewpoint into consideration. For example, if they are both fine with it, what's wrong? Sure, there's societal pressure, but fuck society. The thing about society is that at least 80% of perceived societal truths are fucking wrong. I don't see what's the deal with societal conformity. The idea is that it's to keep a greater good. My perception is that as long as it is no fucking relation to or has an effect on other people, then you're fine to do it. In that same manner, homosexual relationships are personal choice, just as long as you keep your hands of my pants. Seriously, society has gotten pretty screwed when they try to control your sexual activities. After all, they're not the one doing the fucking, and if it does not affect them at all, why the hell should they care?

Parent-child relationships are funny. Like take my pancake analogy. Children are like pancakes. You tend to burn the first one, and get better as you go along. Interestingly, the analogy also extends to the final point, where the youngest tends to be the smallest, since there's usually not enough batter. Biology is interesting. See, as you reach a certain age, somehow everything your parents seem to do is embarassing/annoying. This increases with age, up to a point. The same is true for other species. This is to ensure that the young leave the nest and start their own families, bringing the cycle back to vicious. Right now, I've reached the annoying stage, and embarassing is stalking me. Soon, I will leave the nest, find a mate, reproduce, grow old, then die. It's kinda sad to see your life in such a simplified manner, but that's really all it is.

This poem I wrote about a week before April 9th:

Say it to Me too...

I love you
each and every day
I miss you
in every possible way
I guess that
all I'm trying to say
I hope that
you someday may
say it to me too...

This is something I wrote in response to it this afternoon, and also sorta reflects my mood at the time:

Even Now

Even now together
I can't say we'll be forever
Looking at the sky at night
Knowing time's something I can't fight
Why must it always be so
To you my love prove and show
In the end I might probably die
When you finally kiss goodbye...

Ah, desktop scribbles. That's what insanely missing someone does, as well as a premonition for the message she eventually sent me. Sighness. I love you, Wen, till you finally ask me to stop. Until then, I love you. Know that you're the only one that can make it so, and the only one who can make me go. I love you, till that second you ask me, leave.

Jin out.