zest for life...

First day after 9 days off, sooooooo not good for an ICPU student. First thing I got back this morning was a Physics quiz paper: a fucked up 6.5/10. Oh, fuck all the insane fucked up fuckers who fucked my fucking fucked up brain of a fucking moronic fucker! Oh fuck. The last time I got that was my first quiz. Is this a sign that I'm regressing? If this is so, let it happen quickly, back to the embryonic stage, then finally split into sperm and ovum, all while standing here.And let those two half cells revert back into their core component chemicals. That, and only that, is complete non-existence. To reverse into nothingness. But the real issue here is not what I want or need. It's what SHE wants and needs. If she needs me, here I'll stay. If she wants me, here I'll be. Anything for you, sweetheart.

All zest for life seemed to disappear from 8.00 - 9.15 this morning. Then Physics ended and I felt very light again. Data was rather random, for some reason. I felt quite, erh, what you people would call happy, but I suppose it was more like contentment, or comfort. Then came news that there was no English, joy! Spent the third period in the Web, with PokX, and the rest of the English class, doing random research. That hour was such a waste of my time, really. Sigh. ICPU may have been the course for me, but somehow I'm not really liking this fucking situation. Anyways, lunch was meh, what with PokX in that funny mood again. Went back to Calculus class not to do anything. Ergh. I hate it when I blog about my day. Fuck it.

It's strange. My life is always being fucked, and I'm still virgin, lolz. It's randomness, yes, but I suppose that it's my lot in life. And I'm never one to settle for mediocre. I'll get what I want, alright, or I'll die trying. If it's something my baby wants, I'll die trying for her, too. Except if it's a stupid request, lolz. In that case, I'm only willing to be severely injured, that's all. Sigh, I miss her dearly, and the cards are finally coming together. Maybe it's time to show our hand?

I kinda like my new hair. It's a bit wierd, considering it's me. Yeah, Eu Jin dying his hair such a lala color, lolz. Absolutely wierd, eh? Well, it's Jin now, and no, it's only lala for a short while. When it grows in a bit, it will have that two tone I want. But telling from Vic's reaction during dance class, he was like, oh crap, Eu Jin doing this, and now he's swearing, too, what has the world come to, oh crap, lolz, that was just hilarious. And he just couldn't stop staring, lolz. Poor kid, lolz, he's so bored he's taken to playing World of Warcraft. So sad. I'd join him, except I have other comittments now. Lolz. Still can't stop grinning, it's so funny.

Yeesh, the beer gut's coming back. And I don't even like beer. Oh fuck. Need to really hit the gym. Honestly. And I noticed I'm becoming really weak, it's surprising I can even hold my own weight. I can barely bend that spring bar in my room anymore, I'm getting so scared it's not funny anymore. Sigh. Okay, I think starting tomorrow I'm going to go to the Taylor's gym. Heard it's mediocre, but hell, I'm gonna get my money's worth.

Other Kid

Other boys
Have their toys
And their groups
And their games
While I sit alone
On my own

Other boys
Go around
And do their stuff
Having fun
While I sit alone
On my own

Sometimes I wonder
If I'm strange
Maybe it's just that
I'm not the same
Or perhaps it's me
Who's the other kid

Loving you, sweetheart. Jin out.