sunday morning work

It's Sunday morning. I'm supposed to be at church, but haven't gone there for slightly more than a year, sans the occational occation visit, like Christmas. Dunno why, but the feeling I get when I go there is one of being very lost and alone in a sea of people. Most of the youth group there were born and raised in this church, and I basically was a newcomer. I don't suppose it was fair to ask them to drop their childhood friends to introduce themselves to me. And such is my situation that they know my name, recognise me, but I have no connection with them otherwise. Why go? Worship? I can do that at home. The Heavenly Father listsens to all His children, not only those who go to church. Make friends? No, I don't think so. Listen to the sermon? No, it always smacks of a holier-than-thou attitude that kills my spirit. Yeah, I know I'm not perfect, but stop rubbing it in my face. Besides, I forget what has been said the moment I leave.

So now on Sunday mornings, I wake up late, think about what I could have done otherwise throughout the week, then now as a new tradition, try to sneak some computer time and write here. Like I wrote last night, or rather this morning, it's been a rather emotionless day or so, very hard to feel angry, or happy, or sad, or anything. Except bored. Tons of work to do and no energy to do it. In fact, even though I just woke up, I feel like crawling back into bed and ending my day there. Except I want to go out shopping, and wanna dye my hair. Some kinda wierd obsession with it, might as well end it.

I have this wicked aching in the back of my head and neck, it's not really painful but it's an annoying tingly sensation. It's kinda disrupting my concentration. Not good with so much to do in the next week. Hope it lasts only a few hours.

It seems that I have been freaking people a lot more than I thought I was. People actually come up to me in parties and ask what's up. Wow. I didn't know that there was that much physical change noticable. Do I behave that wierdly? On an unrelated note, Jon Au is sporting a strange 70's look with long wavy/curly hair and thick framed glasses. Meh.

Poem or song, poem or song? You decide.

Reminisce

Thinking of days gone past,
Wondering why, everything's gone so fast,
Knowing that we cannot go back,
Our joys our pains, our victories sorrow,
That is why, we reminisce...

Thinking of days gone past,
We always thought, these days are gonna last,
Knowing that we cannot go back,
Our hopes our dreams, our gladful crying,
That is why, we reminisce...

(chorus)
Why do reach back
For things we long for past
Why don't we look for tomorrow
And yet we still look back

Thinking of days gone past,
Joking about the things that made us gasp,
Knowing that we cannot go back,
Our childish pranks, our silly games,
That is why we reminsce...

Thinking of days gone past,
Always thinking we knew best,
Knowing we cannot go back,
Our teenaged pride, our youthful stands,
That is why we reminisce...

(chorus, repeat till fade)