should not be awake

I think I'm losing it. Honestly. That is assuming that I have not already lost it. I'm cracking up.

What the heck is wrong with me? Who the hell do you know gets up at 3 in the morning just to check his own blog? I mean, talk about lameness. This guy has got to be about the crappiest most self centred attention seeking nOObish dingbat (I actually have harsher words to use, but that would insult my family name and I don't think that's a good idea), ever.

I'm soooooooo bored. I'm even goin around looking at random blogs. Really random. There's even one in Tagalog, which makes so much sense... I suppose you really can't help waking at 3 when you went to bed at 9. Shouldn't have done that.

Why the hell would anyone want to sleep at 9? Honestly, I think I better post an account of today, just to make it worth the time to type all this drivel.

The day was fine. College is actually fun, if you know how to manipulate the status quo. It was really really hot in the afternoon, as to boil an egg on the sidewalks. Insane. I got home and took a rather uncharacteristic random nap on the floor of the living room. Weird.

Dance class was great. At least it's supposed to be. In truth, I felt like I was in hell. Being indirectly ostracized is not very pleasant, to say the least. You don't know if you really have been rejected by your crowd, or that it's just you, but this one it was such a damned cold feeling. Compounded by the fact a friend of mine is taking a particular gay-oriented joke a bit too seriously. Ah, crap. Come on, do I seem really that gay to you, Vic?

Right now I feel like dying. Not to say I haven't felt that way all the time. This time though, the urge is strong. Glory be, I'm not level headed enough to actually do something about it. Cause, if I kill myself right now, no one would know until morning, then the blood would start to curdle and the smell of rot would permeate the house. Plus it's not like I have a low mass or anything. So that would make for a lot of hard work for my parents. Plus, they'd probably be a bit upset too. Not a good idea.

Tomorrow, or rather today, I'll be bored out of my skull, cuz I got no friends to hang out with. Not your fault Kim, I know you got other plans. Maybe, I should become more the loner now. That way I don't rely on other people to entertain me. It's that it's just kinda sad to watch movies by yourself, go to McD's by yourself, go to cafes by yourself. But I am familiar with the lifestyle. I still am a loner in a way. Time to dust out the loner gear.

Besides, I have another incentive for going back to loner mode. Almost all my friends, except for a few, precious few, have become either really cold, unavailable, or just plain incomunicado recently. I feel so alone, I might as well make it a lifestyle. Probably should stop crapping now. I worry her too much, that Kim.

Now for the poem, I will write something offhand, because I'm feeling bored:

Bored

A bored person I am
With little else to do
A bored person I am
With no body to say this to

A bored person I am
Writing a stupid little ditty
A bored a person I am
Aren't I a pity

A bored person I am
I need a song to sing
A bored person I am
But others might say that I'm the person who's boring!