much to say, nothing to write

I feel so alone, and yet in the company of so many. They say never fall in love with your best friend. And yet, so many close friends all around me are doing just that. I wonder if I am one of them. This is morbidly like an episode of Friends, only we have Melur or Kandar instead of the Central Perk.

Tonight was interesting. Kian had a party, and we had people come to it. Poor guy, don't mean to say bad things but he's really an inexperienced party host. He doesn't plan things too well. For instance, always make sure drinks are ready minutes before guests arrive, cold. And don't go out 2 hours before they come, just in case. And never plan a fixed itinerary for entertaining your guests, especially if it involves doing something less mainstream and they are your mainstream public. Also, never force a guest to participate in any event. Some friendly needling is fine, but don't overdo it. And if possible, unless it's a for-the-heck-of-it party, don't do takeouts. Call a caterer or cook, but no takeout.

Anyways, me and Zhao and Kavs left early. Zhao was a tad lethargic, plus dispirited. So we went out, just about to send him back first, but then I came up with a brilliant, but rather suicidal idea. We went to grab some Shandy, and went to the park in the middle of the night to have a chat. Talked about random stuff. Went back the same as I came, but hopefully made the other two feel better. There's something to be said about being totally emotionless. It's wierd and disembodying. And sooooo cool.

Anyways, can't take my mind off a certain someone. Not too concerned how I fare, but hope she holds up okay. Shouldn't have said too much. But since I did, must watch out for her. If you're reading this, don't worry too much about moi, watch yourself. Love you.

Poetry is running dry. I think it would be better if I start composing songs instead. But I don't have much musical gift (but people keep telling me otherwise, why????), so I'll get Jane to do that for me. That girl's magic with the music. Okay, first song attempt:

Unknown Love

I saw you standing there, out in the sun,
I knew immediately that you were the one,
Holding the look upon your beautiful face,
And still now, I cannot go to tell you...

I saw you standing there, out in the rain,
Never knew that it would cause me such pain,
Holding that look upon your beautiful face,
And still now, I cannot go to tell you...

(chorus)
I see you there, within my reach, within my soul,
But I cannot touch you,
I see you there, within my reach, within my heart,
But you cannot be mine,
Unknown Love of mine.

I saw you standing there, all alone,
I was aching for you right to the bone,
Holding the look upon your beautiful face,
And still now, I cannot go to tell you...

I saw you standing there, with your guys,
I didn't know why you were being so nice
Holding the look upon your beautiful face,
And still now, I cannot go to tell you...

(chorus)

How can I tell her? The way that I feel,
Do I know her, or do I know myself...

(chorus twice)