overwhelming sense of loss...

Ever had one of those? I suppose I have. Can't remember what though. You might say I lead a sheltered life. I'd say it myself. It's pretty closed to the world, which is sad, given that I see so much of it. It's one thing to see, one thing to hear, and one thing to understand. What difference does it make to anyone if it doesn't make sense?

If you've noticed, which I haven't till recently, my posting style has been very different from the day this whole blog started. Very sad. Or good. I'd say that my posts then were a whole lot darker and cruder than even Darien's, which is in itself saying a lot. But then, his are dark with a very vengeful tinge. Mine are dark as in they are bleak. Maybe that way, he is incorruptible, while mine is subject to current emotions. Ah. Reading old posts makes me long for those days of absolute solitude and loneliness. But that would be selfish. Ah, commitments are a double edged sword. They give as much as they take. They remove all sense of loneliness, but also they cause the reason you stay around disappear.

Hopefully, I will find my old spark back. Although most say it's better that I've brightened up, I will be the first to admit the quality of my works has declined a bit. They say the value of your produce is inversely proportional to your happiness, at least where art is concerned, and writing is an art in itself. Are people measured by how happy they have lived, or how much they have left behind? A bit of both? Perhaps. In that case, I've either had an excellent life so far, or I've nothing to talk about. Meh.

Bored? Then go over and read kennysia.com. He's back apparently. He made a pretty name for himself ever since that April Fool's day post. Not too bad, lolz. If only I could be self deprecating in a funny manner, lolz. Oh well. Long live the red boxers!

Jin out.