in the kitchen with jin...

Ignore the previous cryptic post. It's a coded message to my future self when I'm feeling emo. Anyways...

Today, Jin will demonstrate how to make a kickass black pepper sauce that will either have you screaming as your throat spontaneously combusts and your eyes leaking like a Dutch dam, or have you cum in your pants AND your eyes leaking like a Dutch dam.

First, get about 3 big onions chopped into nice little cubic-like pieces. If possible, try to make them somewhat uniform sized, unlike mine.

Also, get black pepper (the unground type), and crush them coarsely. Too fine and it loses some flavour, for some reason.

Toss butter into a pot to melt. You COULD use margarine, but did you know that margarine is only ONE carbon link away from becoming a plasticky plastic? Well, actually, by definition, it already IS a plastic. Also, it's black before it's dyed yellow and that if you left it out for a year, it would not have deteriorated in the least, because not even bugs will eat it. Anyway, do this:

Then, saute the chopped onions in the butter. You want to do this until the onions become transparent. Very cool, but keep in mind that you can't stop stirring if not the butter will caramelize with the onions and form some wickedly sticky black morass at the bottom of your pot and smell like that last batch of cookies you tried to bake.

Sprinkle a bit of flour over the yellowish mixture and stir in well. Then, throw in chicken stock powder, oyster sauce, Worcestershire sauce, white and black pepper powders, salt, sugar and water. It should look like something the cat regurgitated at this point:

Let it boil (it will still look a bit dodgy). Try to keep the fire low unless you like carbonized sludge that you scrape off the bottom of pots. From this point onwards, you should periodically taste the sauce to make sure it will be the cumfest it should be. Add more oyster sauce/Worcestershire sauce/pepper to adjust for individual preferences.

When sufficiently thick, allow to cool for a bit if you're bottling. Otherwise, just pour over anything and everything edible for an orgasmically good time.

For the whole recipe with technical measurements, email me.