remembered something...
Was going to add this to the previous post, but since there are already comments there, I thought, why bother.
Men's Health magazine has this article that states that when you suffer a defeat, or undergo negative stress, your testosterone level drops. Along with that, sex drive. This afternoon, my testosterone levels (and the accompanying sex drive) took a serious hit. Now, it's basically negative. Ergh.
Why do I take this so hard? Well, actually I don't. It's probably the dissatisfaction of having wasted my time, and gotten excited over something that I SHOULD have known would not be in my favour in the first place. I hate false hope. I was given too much of that when I was a kid.
Yes, I know I'm spoilt. Maybe I should place myself into total denial of all pleasures. That SHOULD place interesting perspective on things.
In seventeen, August 2005 issue (yes, yes, some guys read it too, okay?), Malaysian edition, there was this story about this guy who comitted suicide. They also included a few things to note about a person that indicates potential suicide. What about signs that YOU might be feeling despondent enough to kill yourself? Sometimes, you just have no idea what you're gonna do, and suddenly you just do it. I'm getting worried.
Either that, or I'm just fickle.
Haven't eaten. Don't feel like eating. Wait, this feels exactly like I did in January. Excellent. See how I'll fix stuff up.
I may not be writing. Much confidence has been lost. Doesn't make any sense, but, ergh. I'm taking things too seriously, but for some reason, obstinate logic no longer works. Fuck.
ONE consolation, I suppose, was all the cool sexy stories they had in Men's Health. I think I'm gonna subscribe, lolz.
Meh.
4 comments:
dude, don't take it seriously ler. You KNOW you're good. =/
Guess luck wasn't on your side, that's all. Don't let it bring you down ler.
lolz. luck is hardly a factor when it comes to skill. i'm seriously thinking it's the judges' reading biases. only infuriating thing was that i was placed so far down the line. meh.
Let me tell you one thing, my mum deals with a lot of competition like this, and trust me when I say 8 out of 10 are not exactly fair.
obviously la. but i want it to be unfair to MY advantage, lolz. got over it liaoz. dunno why it was an issue in the first place. but i'm still in the black mood. coolness.
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