baseball...

So since we were so bored, Kim and I began discussing OTHER people's sex lives, which is very sad since we don't have any ourselves (YES, Mom, still as virgin as that olive oil in the pantry). Which, like I've said, is sad.

Anyways, suddenly, it somehow occured to her to ask me to which base I've gotten to. And this is how she put it, in the American measuring system:

First base: Frenching, or anything to do with heavy mouth to mouth action.

Second base: Upper body nudity, plenty of mouth and hand action.

Third base: Anything orally induced.

Home: Sex.

Now, the engineer and statistician in me found something wrong with that scale. It doesn't take into account people who are brand new into a partnership, which in itself, I think, is an achievement unto itself. So I devised another revised scale, more to fit with the general public, and to allow for greater variations.

First base: Normal stuff, like holding hands, and pecks, and stupid googly meaningless words that sound great regardless. Rated U.

Second base: Frenching, stuff to do with mouth and hands and for the more dextrous, the feet. Nothing visible, but definitely under the PG rating.

Third base: Full frontal nudity, mutual masturbation, oral sex. Stuff of a pin-up-ish nature. Rated R.

Home: Sex, and any of the undeniably sex-related practices (let's not even get to that). Rated XXX, without question.

Since I haven't put up a survey in months, what say you tell me which base you people have reached? If you so choose, your results will be totally anonymous, provided you're smart enough to do that. Put it according to my new and improved scale. Waha!

In other notes, I tried a new recipe today, came out perfect. Except presentation. Pictures on those on Saturday. Bah kut teh today also. Pork doesn't taste so nice in this country, or I need to put in more salt.

Oh, I won't say which base I'm at.