islanders...

Okay, okay. Details, details.

Had a barbecue. Invited random people over, and random people came. Of note are the exploding coals, the running about, the raining, the half cooked food, the REALLY LATE guest and some other things. Not enough photos to make it interesting, so I won't post them. Go harass Asy if you want them.

Dad sprung a rather surprising trip to Penang on us. Okay, fine. It was only me that was surprised. I only really knew that we were going somewhere.


We passed through Ipoh first for their smooth noodles or something. Kinda like kway teow, but smoother. Apparently. Me, I can't tell the difference. And Ipoh chicken rice, if the one I had was anything to go by, is nothing to be hyped about. Looked more like chicken LICE to me.

If anything, I did find the ORIGINAL Old Chang Kee shop. But I find the one in 1Utama makes better curry puffs.

And camwhoring. Mwahahaha.

Him too.


And also a Happy Circle. Like, what the fuck?

If anything, they have interesting shops that sell things like this:


Here's a curious sight:

This is a lone standing government building. We saw it near a toll plaza. It had NOTHING around it, although that's not obvious in the picture. No buildings. And it was tall. Only the government could approve something that bizarre or pointless.


One thing I must note about the northern states is that they have lotsa rocks. Like big rocks. So big that they get in the way and we must drill big holes through them so we can drive through. Kinda like sperm through a, nevermind.

One of the first things of amusement we noticed while on the island was:

I don't know HOW, but somehow these two make an interesting pair.


The Sunway Hotel, Penang. A watered down version of the 5 star wonder that is the Sunway Hotel, Sunway.

Maybe it's something about the island or something, but another strange, and in this case, downright disturbing, first sight. This is in the hotel lobby:

Like, what the fuck? I think my lens cracked.

If anything, there was a Christmas tree to sanitize that blasphemous vision.


Ah. Finally. The room. And unfortunately, me.


The first evening out was of most bemusing sort.


This bakery in one of the supermarkets has quite an interesting command of England. Of course, there are too many blatant and boring examples around. Here's one which needs a bit of wit to understand:

A popia car.



The next day was quite curious. For one, it's not pleasant to wake up to such a fugly building outside your window:

To cleanse the visual palate of that obscene vision, camwhore!


Botanical gardens are great places to get nice pictures. One is the classic bug on a plant pic that is ALWAYS near impossible to get. NEAR impossible, that is.

Of course, you sometimes end up with absurd things like this tree:

Beaches are another classic photography spot. Unfortunately, Penang seems to have a shortage of good shoreline, despite being an island. How dumb is that?

And dead crabs.


Cornwallis is a funny name. Like, the corn wall is? Is what? Soft? Mushy? Smelly? Like your genital warts? No matter.

I found this picture quite funny. Apparently I look like a pirate. Maybe I should make bootleg VCDs.


The old chapel in that fort is still there. Freaky-ish.


Some brands die hard. They found THIS in an archeological dig:


I found a pony! A horny one, by the looks of it.


No British fort would be complete without those large cannon they have all over the place. Extremely male thing to do, if you catch my drift.

Just to show the relative size of that thing:



Here's the famous log that was in the news for awhile. I don't really understand the fuss about it, besides the fact that it takes valuable space on a sidewalk on which people could scribble graffitti instead.

Had dinner in Gurney Drive, which by the way is NOT the place to go to eat in Penang. Like, there was practically NOTHING there to makan. What a ripoff. There was more just outside the hotel. Cheeseass. We ate seafood. Which is exactly my point.

Next, and last, day, we headed off to Penang Hill. Or Bukit Bendera. Which doesn't make any sense, because I always thought that Bendera meant flag, not Penang. Stupid garblement.

The rides are all damn slow. It took us like an hour waiting for the damn cable car to start moving, and it took another half hour to reach the top. And the scary thing is that there is NO safety cable. If this one snaps, we slide all the way to the bottom at increasing velocity and pray that the emergency brakes work and don't cause the tracks to tear off the hillside and send the whole caboose careening down the treacherously steep slope.

Dangerous ride done, there was absolutely NOTHING to do on that accursed lump of mud. Well, maybe eat chickpeas, but that was about it. Nothing to do, and nothing to see except a smoggy view of the island, and a hugeass police station and post office. Even bigger than the ones in Subang. The whole hill's population is probably employed in those two buildings.

Okay, fine. There was ONE thing to see:

It kinda reminds you of something, no?

At the end, this was basically what I did for three days:


What I have learnt on this trip:

~Ipoh and Penang are damn similar.
~The buildings are all old and on the verge of collapsing into a pile of fetid rubble. How rubble can be fetid, I do not know.
~There is a disproportionate number of old people and lala people in both Ipoh and Penang.
~Contrary to popular belief, there is NOTHING to eat in either Ipoh or Penang.
~The Ipoh and Penang food from Subang is definitely better.
~In the three days of holiday, I have seen no chicks worthy of any mention in either Ipoh, or Penang.
~There are many BodyGlove shops on the stupid island. Which doesn't make any sense.
~There are whole stretches of road on Penang that house only schools. Like, why the hell do you need 5 schools on the same fucking road?
~Islanders, both Singaporean and Penangites, are damn small people.
~My hair looks damn nice now. I think I almost look cute.

Meh.