graduation...

I seriously thought I'd be happier, but I'm not. I'm actually extremely disappointed.

I graduated today. Usually, graduations are supposed to be memorable, and this one is. Except, not in the way I'd choose for it to be. For one, I remember being sorta morose about this one, for all my appearances of having enjoyed it.

For one, I fell short of being top in anything by one or two marks. For the Maths Award, I was short by 0.5. Though, I don't begrudge Thin for the prize. She definitely deserved it given how much effort she put in. I was knocked into third, and at that, unacknowledged, place by the fact that my English marks were so horrendously fucked. Sure, an 88% finishing average is great, given that you were not expecting a 90+ glaze.

Yay, me.

This is so totally the last time I will think I'm good in English. Either that, or the last time I trust my instincts on being better at a language than anything.

Why the hell I was so excited about the yearbook being done is a mystery to me. The crowd was unenthusiastic at best, and what I'd thought would be well deserved thanks, or at least the appearance of the slightest tinge of appreciation came across more as apathetic nonsense. It's extremely frustrating to have put in a fuckload of effort to get this out in time for everyone to peruse it well, and have them, well, not do it.

I am seething under this shell of enthusiasm. It would be quite unbecoming to be angry at anything right now. If anything, I have got solid gloating rights. But it's pointless. Especially when I didn't get the level that I was looking for.

While I'd love to rant about how I'll never be enthusiastic over anything over again, and the million reasons why I would be justified, I won't. Other people, especially Mr Leow, are particularly happy they got green slips, and it's probably more interesting if I be happy for them as well. If I was that is.

At any rate, I have a little something I need to do. I still have one Saturday evening to fix up, and then another invitation to guest star in some Taylor's event to turn down. Then I'll probably contemplate an alone holiday with myself for the next week or so.

Being so angry after such an event isn't a good sign. Then again, neither was the omen of my candle repeatedly going out during the candle lighting ceremony.

Asy, if I seemed drunk, it was because of the red face and the maniacal grin. They were there because of the quite unapparent frustration of it all.

This IS the last time I bother putting so much effort, although nearly none, into anything.

Meh.