thoughts in bed...
Antisocial boy. Maybe that's who I should be for the next month or so. I'm getting a bit too easily irritated by little things. And a bit too stupid to show it.
If the internet in the house isn't working by tomorrow, I might seriously have to think about moving out. No internet is worse than being raped by a ten foot pike.
I don't think downing that bottle of paracetamol is going to kill me. I'm too fat. Gah.
Slashing myself did come to mind, but again, the image of something sharp biting into my flesh left me cringing at my hands for the next half an hour.
I don't think my housemates got much sleep last night with all the headbanging on the wall.
There's an annoying little bit of pale anger that wells up in your throat when your eyes get really moist but you can't cry.
Smothering yourself is quite difficult when you have a history of lung weakness and your reflexes are a bit too efficient.
Walking around in just shorts in the winter to clear your head is the surest way to get frozen balls. Next to putting them in the freezer.
Having almost no connection to the big alternate reality where I actually am something is so disconcerting that I can actually watch Family Guy and American Dad and NOT be amused.
Trying to talk to God in the middle of the night doesn't seem to help with this level of depression. Neither does writing it in a blog, apparently.
Four orange Tim Tams does not a dinner make. Too bad.
6 comments:
jin...internet connection is a big deal, i know.
i mean i'm married to it.
but i'm hoping you're doing better and different than what you state.
library dont have internet meh?
take care anyways.
yorsh
Tim Tams are not dinner, you are right.
GO EAT SOMETHING WITH MORE NUTRITIONAL VALUE!!!!
Hey, it's okay to be depressed sometimes, particularly at your age (for some reason). Seriously. Just keep holding out, most people have more going for them then they realise.
That or start reading about people who've got it worse. Trust me, it works. :p
i think it's the chocolate, really. everytime i eat chocolate on an empty stomach i become like this. it's like a combination of genius, insane delight, and dark depression. i actually came up with something so devious and perfect, i was scared. then i forgot what it was and fell asleep. gah.
Why are you even thinking of killing yourself when you have access to Tim Tams?
hmm. you've got a point there, jay.
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