it's so hard...

...to cry sometimes. It's a good thing I rarely feel the urge to even try.

Another stage of apathy. I cannot believe how easily irritated I feel these days. I've been all chirpy and overactive around people, and I don't know why. It's even less explicable since I have this vague burning feeling of hatred.

It's so frustrating. I feel like killing something. At the same time, I want someone to talk to, but I don't think it would be very safe for anyone to do that right now.

I bloody hate this. I can't wait for the 19th to come around. Then I'll be spending some quality time with myself wandering around the city. Or sitting on benches looking at people pass me by. It's like a literal metaphor of my life. I've hardly moved from that childishly hopeless idiot I've been in years past. What little progress I appear to have made is like some sort of defence mechanism.

It's a good thing I'm scared of pointy things. Otherwise, I'd pretty much have cut myself up a bit, and much of the surrounding. Maybe I just need to build something.

I can't believe I'm listening to Kiroro.

Argh. I just want to freaking smother myself right now. But what ever will Kian do if nobody was there to give him his Blinding Angels? I think he'd just die.

Memories are hard to come by. They're the source of my pissiness, and the thing that calms me down. Only thing is that I'm now just bloody angry without reason. So angry that I cleaned my room. And there's no more chocolate.

FUCK!!!