cash money...

There can never be enough. Even when you have too much, you could still have more. That's why we all have to start somewhere.

I can't believe I sat around clicking random buttons and filling in monotonous sheets of paper for money. Still, that was probably one of the best paying 2 hours of my life, bar that time I ALMOST earned a thousand bucks taking pictures. Of course, I could never ask money from a charity case, could I?

Thirty bucks isn't that well paying for enduring some mind-numbing shit in some random economics experiment. Still, I could have wasted it doing something like curing cancer or proving that the answer to biggest question in the universe is NOT 42 but actually chocolate cream pie.

Nike. Just duit.

Actually, considering every other day of my life, today was rather productive. I discovered the roots of the equation y = (x - 1)(x + 1)cot x (HINT: the answer is NOT 42). And how to make the friggin computer do it for me. I discovered that I'm still too fat and stupid for my own good, and stubborn and stupid enough not to give a flying fuck. I also woke up late for my first lecture but that didn't matter since I wouldn't have understood him anyway.

That aside, I'm waiting for Easter Break to come so I can procrastinate more. I hereby open membership to the Procrastinati to the public. This is a secret society that couldn't be bothered to keep itself secret today (because there's always tomorrow), dedicated to putting off to next week what it can put off till tomorrow, well, because it can, which I happen to lead because I came up with it.

Other parties might consider contesting for ownership of that term, except that if they really did own it, they would put off the lawsuit to next year because they couldn't be bothered. Hah. Any takers?

Tell me tomorrow.

an expensive weekend...

Little did I know, this weekend would prove slightly costly to me, albeit rather interesting, if mushy. Ah.

Got to Melbourne Central, met Kim there, and we were soon joined by Kian. Walked around. Came across these:

Have you ever seen such blatant adorableness? Of course, our amusement at the expense of their lives. I'm such a sadist.

I know there's some stereotype against Asians being able to pronounce words properly, but I take this as being a bit too customer friendly. Like, what the hell is a tampoon supposed to be?

The building designs in this city intrigue me. Like this underground library:


Or the RMIT building for that matter:


It's a good thing I didn't take up architecture here. Okay, well, fine, at least Queen Victoria Market isn't that absurd looking:


What's a party without the people eh? Mich, Kyle, Kim, Vonzie and Kian.


We were supposed to go to a place called Grandma Kimchi, but our dear friend Kian didn't call in advance to book. Good thing Kyle knew people who knew people. So we went to this Korean Seoul Restaurant, off Little Bourke.


Kimchi galore! Funny thing is I don't like preserved vegetation.


Food was quite acceptable, except for the stupid things they included in my fried rice; mushrooms (lots of it, for the life of me I can't tell why) and oysters (like, why!?!??!). I suppose it's fine if you're into that sort of thing. Mich, Kian and Vonzie didn't seem to mind their portions, so no complaint there. Kim and Kyle had, some beef thing and chicken thing. Beef was a very strange sweet type, very nice, chicken was supposed to be something insanely spicy, or something. Not too sure, didn't seem very pedas to me. All in all, acceptable, except for the fungi and shellfish. Eww.

As is given to occasions where random people gather, randomness ensues!


And it lingers a bit after dinner too.


Went to Brunetti's for chocolatey-ness:


Mini Baci and some slab of chocolate. Pretty, no? Still, was a bit disappointed. I could have done better. I only need the recipe for the Baci skin. Then watch me own Brunetti's! Moo har har har har!

Then back to Vonzie's place for a nice sit and chat. And camwhoring of sorts.


Kim and Kyle. Hah! And you said he didn't like to take photos!


Vonzie and Ant. Vonzie, does he always look so sleepy? Or is it because you tire him out? Lolz.


After that tiring day of total randomness, we left Vonzie's, then let Kim walk Kyle back (and later find out that he drove HER back anyway), Kian and I walked Mich back, then I bunked over at Kian's apartment. I tell you, view from up there is spectacular.

Woke up early, dropped by Kim's to pass her the camera she conveniently forgot to take back from me, then off to Jay Jay's to get my warm winter wear. Got this biker-looking faux leather piece, and some off-black windbreaker. All for the okay-okay price of 138. Impulse shopping at it's finest.

Seems like they were quite serious about reducing accident rates. They got Storm Troopers for traffic police!


Lunch was at Le Shanghai, recommended by Vonzie, along Swanston, closer to the Uni side. Absolutely adore the decor:


Food wasn't half bad.

They came in this little pot things, reminded me a lot of the aroma-therapy thingies that Mom has. Keeps the food nice and warm. Comes with rice sprinkled with toasted black sesame seeds for aroma, some chicken soup thing, and fruit bits. It was filling enough, yet doesn't stuff. Only real complaint was the parseley. Like, gross. Still, give it a try, price range within reach of students, if just a slight stretch.

Concluding: an interesting weekend, met two new people who are promising in the least; a very amusing time, learnt new food locations, and the fact that I should shop impulsively.

And since I painted my nails, thought Liz might like this:

Bwaha!

as it goes...

And the day goes, exactly as it would any other day.

Woke up at a leisurely 9.15. Cold morning, I could just hear the water crytalizing on the glass. Sat at the machine watching a few early morning birthday greetings from after I went to bed. The cold air withstanding, I was feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Whee. I didn't die this year either. Another reason to celebrate!

For lunch, half a Meat Lover's Pizza. Tossed it into the oven and went to change. Had a warm shower, then got back to find the pizza on the verge of combusting. Flicked it out, whew, still edible. Sat in my room with a can of lemonade, one out of 24 that came in a box costing me a nice 8 bucks, staring at the rather random card Pri sent to me.

Got into the stats lecture. Again, I fell asleep, sound in the knowledge that no one else was getting anything out of it either. I tell you, like the classic used-car salesman, this guy just kept digressing into irrelevant topics to draw your attention away from the flawed presentation, in his case, the choice of too garish coloured markers, the amaturish attempts at sketching proper semblences of Greek letters, and that constant jabbering that he somehow mistakes for his speech. Still, nothing he was showing was particularly new to me, though I must say I'm surprised they didn't teach this in Year 12. Meh.

Next up was the dynamics exam, which is like a physics exam, except for applications in engineering. It was smooth sailing, I even thought that I'd leave early. Until I saw the last question. Fuck. There goes a nice 1% from my final average. Just wonderful.

On the way home, I noticed that the wind had gotten somewhere close to subarctic. Lovely. Perfect weather for flying kites. Too bad I didn't have one. No less, got a message from Nikki reminding me of the disc throwing thing that we're supposed to do with Ed.

Flipping it a bit, which wasn't too sucessful given atmospheric conditions, we settled for doing silly things with the disc (silly meaning we didn't do too well). We sat down for overpriced, fat-laden snacks from the sports center cafeteria (how convenient), a random chat of random things, mostly about trying to get me to bake a chocolate cake.

Got back full of extra calories. Housemates were very nice, got a few edible gifts. Dinner was spaghetti out of my leftover collection, since I didn't really have anyone to have dinner with. But since my cooking would rank somewhere between perfect and sublime (bwahahaha!), no complaints.

MSN has been busy sending me messages of congratulations. Wow. Thanks guys. I must say, a false sense of popularity is a very good substitute for sitting alone in my room with nails that feel weird because they're painted while playing ancient pixelated games. Still, I'm quite happy with how today turned out, given what I anticipated LAST year.

Now, my parents have offered me a choice of one of two gifts. A new phone, or that very essential add-on flash for my camera. What do you people think?

last day...

... of my 18th year, and how do I spend it?

Skipping breakfast.

Trying to figure out how the radius of a ring encircling a mass that is at least 0.8m wide can be 1.4mm.

Waiting for a can of soda I left in the freezer to defrost.

Skipping frisbee because it was too windy to be fun.

Throwing together the weirdest tasting fried rice I've ever tasted.

Eating Haw Flakes.

Falling asleep in the computing lecture, along with half the students present.

Realising that nobody else understands a single word the statistics lecturer is saying.

Recalling that a year ago, I wanted to die. Really badly.

Trying to buy a pizza with all the coins in my pocket, then resorting to using the notes I have anyway.

Eating the pizza, watching The Biggest Loser, recalling I used to be in similar circumstances.

Watching mostly because it's funny to see the drama rather than the weight loss.

Not finishing the pizza, so I can eat the rest for lunch tomorrow.

Noticing all the people around me get hitched, and being gleeful, melancholic, and sadistic all at once.

Understanding the emptiness of space by staring at my mostly empty bedroom walls.

Wondering if I should paint my nails tonight.

Getting creeped out by that Korean chick again. I still think she just wants to steal my assignments.

Being alone.

what i'm not...

My mom used to tell me, "don't become what you're not..." Usually, this was said in reference to one of the many less than exemplary activities that I carried out at random, and to be perfectly frank, I was further away from being the perfect kid than platypii were to getting wings.

Today's events sorta made me reflect on that. I realise how impossible that instruction was, let alone impractical. I am full aware of the context in which it was made, but even then, it's not something you can choose.

Assuming, hypothetically, of course, that I will not become what I'm not, nothing would happen to me. I'd be a constant in an equation. In perpetual stasis. The me now is not the me a second ago. Of course, if you factor in allowable changes as part of the equation, there's still the possibility of outside influences, because we're not all isolated systems, annoying as that is. Therefore, this is an impossible situation, because it is undefined at all points.

This thought came about after I noticed that I was lacking a lot of things I thought I had before I came here. True, the scope is quite limited, but when you start making glaring errors like I have in all sorts of things, it's quite normal to come to conclusions like this. Suffice to say, I did things the me I thought I was wouldn't have.

Barring the mathematical approach to that statement, I have to say, well, in some situations, I will not become what I'm not.

I'm not very smart.

I'm not very bright.

I'm not understanding of anyone or anything. Much.

I'm not handsome, not hot, not attractive.

I'm not the many things I want to be.

And, I'm not perfect.

Am I embarassed? Am I sad? Am I depressed? Am I mortally crushed by the thought? How could I be? And how could I not? After all, I will not become what I'm not.

freeze...

Remember that silly game we used to play as kids? Ice and water. Seems like such a good idea, especially in a country where you could steam paus by leaving them on a sidewalk, if there were any intact ones lying around (sidewalks, that is).

Fuck that game. Now the very idea of ice and water is pissing the hell out of me. It's crawling towards winter, and I suppose I quite enjoy the idea of refreshing crisp winter air and whatnot. Only problem is that I can't friggin take a fucking shower. The stupid heater turns itself off at 8, and who the hell showers before then? Ice and water is right. Ice IN the water. Gonna freeze my fucking nipples off.

I tell you, the issue with living here is how they're so hung up with conserving resources for the future generations and lotsa bullcrap along those lines. The best way to do it is live like there's no tomorrow, and just don't friggin reproduce! With less people arond, you'll need less resources, and you have more to spend on yourself! That's the whole idea about the capitalist system. Hedonistic delights!

About hedonistic delights, let's just say one of the requirements I have made prerequisite to getting myself an iPod has been met, at least for now (hopefully it lasts much longer than that, dahling). Ignoring that indescriptive description, I now need to lose enough layering to have visible abdominal muscles, acquire at least 3 distinctions and save up the money to get myself a beautiful 60G black iPod. All within the span of the year. On the upside, the losing of the layering and the saving of the money are not mutually exclusive.

In other news, nothing interesting has happened except that I really seriously absolutely need to go winter shopping. Woohoo!

i'm too sexy...

...for this post.

Today was an absolutely ambigious day, neither good nor bad. I woke at aroud 9-ish this morning. Lazed aroud for awhile, then remembered that there was a lecture at 10. Got there just in time. It feels so good to hand in an assignment, and even better to finally recall what in the nine hells implicit differentiation means.

There's something to be learnt from grocery shopping in a town that's half an hour walk downhill from your house: don't buy 20 kilos worth of water laden and delicate goods, and add on top of that a crate of cheap canned drinks. Especially if you don't have a car. And let me just spend this moment in silent thanks that God gave Man sense enough to come up with somethting called public transport. And concession cards.

Of course, there are only so many Hail Mary's one can utter (not that I'm Catholic) before I burn my spaghetti sauce. Anyhoo, it's mostly still edible, very nice smoked flavour, I must say. And there's something to be said about too much pasta: fuck. And frozen melons. As in fruit melons, not the other kind, you sad pervs.

It's such a relief to finally watch a movie without badly mistranslated gibberish on the screen to obscure pretty-full performance artistes (can't use actors, or actresses for that matter because of some legal dispute over political correctness or somewhat in the guild). Of course, since the movie was mostly about randomly disguised people, there wasn't much to see. Still.

Interesting type of movie, this Inside Man. I can't really define it, but it's like some sort of in-the-middle-of-nowhere intellectual movie type. It's fascinating in it's own sense, without being too complicated. It's an easy watch, but isn't something you'd go for if you want something terribly thrilling, or too intellectual, or even action packed for that matter. It's quite lukewarm for a movie, nothing spectacular, but quite a nice warm type to watch for lack of something better to do. And did I mention the lack of subtitles? Totally cool.

Hmm. If I was a girl, I'd fucking hump myself stupid right now. Which is strange, because I like the way I smell right now. Like a used male shirt, but without the reek of sport-sweat. Just well used. Probably cuz today was a cold day. And since it's friggin raining outside, and the heaters turned themselves off, I guess I have to sleep with my sexy self until tomorrow, which will probably result in a similar scent, due to the fact that tomorrow's gonna be cold too.

Until then, I'll wear that incomprehensible smirk. Because I can.