I need my dose of fantasy. Always. So i write.
This one looks like it's gonna be long. Not as lemon-y as some people would like, but it has a story line, sexually oriented, but not overtly so. Nothing too graphic, so you need a good imagination. I'm a bit lazy for minor details right now. Anyways, you can see it here.
Out.
I'm probably not unique in this situation.
I'm feeling extroadinarily alone these past days. Maybe it's because I've been seeing many people, but not keeping any real contact. And maybe it's because I've been kept so busy that what little I do say means just as much as is said.
I'd be lying to say that I wish that things could stay the same. And I'd also be lying if I said I wanted more change in life. It's not that you can't have both, and it's not like you can have either one. I just wish it made more sense. But if it did, it wouldn't. So that's that. I just can't wait to die.
I just deleted a whole paragraph of something I should not have written. I hate having to disguise my words, but sometimes, for convenience's sake, I do these things. Some people accuse me of having no principles. Should I refute them?
~Anything goes, as long as you don't inversely affect other people.
~Let people make their own mistakes. Do not assume to be anyone's moral police.
~Wasting my time is not acceptable ever. Especially if you don't pay me.
~I will only do things if it is either convenient for me, provides substantial benefit, or amuses me.
~There is no excuse for a bad decision. Doing the wrong things for the right reason is just as inexcusable as doing something bad. Which it usually is.
~If you must lie, make it plausible. Do not insult the other party's intelligence like telling them something outrageously impossible. Unless, of course, your intention is to insult them.
~Sex is fun, but avoid having too many partners at once. It's not only messy, it becomes inconvenient to remember who you told what lie. Of course, it's not like I really know anything about it.
~Do not bother challenging me on any intellectual topic. You cannot win. Of course, intellectual is not to be mistaken for factual.
~Annoying me is only advisable if you have a deathwish. If that is so, it would be better if you just ran in front of a speeding bus, than to inconvenience me.
~Do not think I joke when I ask for payment. I do not joke with money. Ever.
~Do not take everything, or anything for that matter, that I say at face value. Almost all that I say has an underlying layer that you must decipher. I find amusment in making life difficult, or too easy, for people.
~Kissing is always good. Especially if you make it no secret what you're going to do after that.
~I am never told/ordered/commanded what to do. There are only suggestions, requests, pleas. Whether or not I respond to them is up to me. It is not only stupid to assume I can be ordered around, it is a blatant waste of time, and it annoys me.
~I am random. I may go off tangent at times, or even provide useless information at random intervals. Get used to it.
Some may argue that these are more like characteristics than they are principles. Whatever. Like mentioned, do not argue with me. You cannot hope to win. Unless you're a master of chaos logic, do not hope to win. Of course, you might, if you were boring.
Meh.
Out.
Since everyone's going around doing the I am meme-ish thing, I thought, why not do the exact opposite?
I am not the boy who was exactly the most confident in kindergarten.
I am not the boy whose parents did not send to Tae Kwon Do classes when he was small to build confidence.
I am not the boy who was really outstanding in anything for a long time.
I am not the boy who was a loser at M:tG in primary school.
I am not the good looking feller that all the girls were oggling at in high school.
I am not that fellow who was so busy that he could not accept that single date with you, on that most random of occassions.
I am not that friend that did not fall for you, but realised it was not to be, even before he said anything.
I am not the one who was acknowledged for his work, because he held too tightly to his principles.
I am not the one who did not not, at one point, drastically shrink by one third (50kg) for no real apparent reason.
I am not, for all intents and purposes, sane.
I am not the classic overachiever, at leat not back then.
I am not the most popular person, anyway.
I am not the best example of patriotism.
I am not too valuable alive.
I am not what I'm all hyped up to be.
I am not the guy who will be mediocre, at least not conciously.
I am not the guy who will abandon his love, unless she/he/it abandons him first.
I am not the best person to come to for advice, but get it anyway.
I am not the one to give up on a friendship, unless it has been lost.
I am not half as confident as I seem to be.
I am not particularly brimming with self esteem.
I am not the son any parent would wish to have, ever.
I am not the model of self restraint.
I am not destined to a life of matrimonial bliss.
I am not an un-virgin (huh?).
I am not all I could be.
I am not what I appear to be.
I am, however, me.
Out.
Vote for me.
It is strange, how some people react to certain stimuli. Like take last night. Samantha (damn, I know too many Samanthas) somehow, inadvertantly, in what is probably the most random fashion possible, discovered that April drove a Cooper. The response was hysterical.
Sam: OMG! You drive a Cooper!?!?
April: Err. Yes.
Sam: OMG OMG OMG! Why never tell me!?!?!
Me: Cuz you never asked...
Sam: OMG! You have a Mini Cooper! Eh, of course I never asked. How I know she drives a Mini?
Me: How would we know you like Minis?
Sam: OMG OMG OMG! You drive a Mini Cooper!!! And to think I knew you for like how many months and I didn't know!!!! *frantic hand waving and squeeling*
Me: *laughing kind of ridiculously*
April: Is this how I look like when someone mentions Lemon?
Vote for me.
Meh. So random. Then, there's today. Today was some Breast Cancer Campaign organised by final semester students of Taylor's Business School or something like that. Hmm. Met Lionel Lim there, the really really great son of Pastor Lim. Haven't seen him for years. Maybe it's cuz I haven't been to church in that long. Hmm....
Anyways, Ms Amber Chia was there to grace the ceremony or something. And to give a breast examination demonstration. Too bad I had class right after they pulled some gold cloth off some board and signed on some paper. Meh.
That's the ICPU Program Director. Wonder what he's really here for...
This is for you guys who are bored of my random homosexual stories. Wait. There's only been one. Meh.
Vote for me.
Anyways, made my way back to 4U quickly after taking those quick photos. Got in, and this girl, can't remember her name (I still think it's Balvin or something), she was like:
Bal: Eh, Eu Jin, you went downstairs just now?
Me: Err, yes. Amber Chia doing some ceremony thing down there.
Bal: OMG! Did you say Amber Chia!?!?!
Me: Err, yes. Got a few photos but I had to come up an...
Bal: OMG OMG OMG!!! I so totally dig Amber Chia! She like gets me all hot and *long string of really weird stuff, and probably inappropriate too*...
Me: ...
All this gushing, and I thought normally girls go crazy over me some cute or hot guy. Or over a Gucci handbag, or some Jimmy Choos. Or something totally random like a pink bear, or a rose (hehe, I personally find this one handy), or chocolates. Or a pair of cute guys making out. Wait. That applies only to the opposite.
Vote for me.
I feel extremely washed out now. Seems that there's gonna be almost no spending from me in a short while. Seems that there's some serious concerns over educational finances. Maybe I should stop college, or start pimping or something. I still think being an assassin is totally cool, but the training you'd need makes it absolutely impractical to start now. Being a gigolo would totally be in my list of options, which would surely afford me money and time enough for uni, but apparently you need looks and a body. Damn.
Vote for me.
More drastic things I have thought out, whether or not I'll mention them and/or carry them out remains to be seen.
Vote for me.
I still think being a gigolo would be so fun.
Vote for me.
How many potatoes can you fit into an empty sack? Assume a potato is about 500 cm3, and a sack is about 25 litres.
Vote for me.
Answer: One potato only la. After you put it in, the sack won't be empty anymore.
Vote for me.
Like, never look into a flash when it's lit. Not even accidentally. Ouch.
Vote for me.
I think I'm actually quite artsy. I like the way my poster turned out. Nice, for two hours work. I'm such a lazy moron.
Henry VIII. Royal Playboy. Or a morbid obsession with executing and divorcing wives. Seems that he had a fetish for the name Catherine and Anne.
Vote for me.
That it made sense, that it should not have been in the first place.
Vote for me.
Out.
Dance class was weird. I didn't quite seem to understand what was going on, but it was refreshingly nice. And the large mirrors there let me in on something.
Okay, I admit. I do look good. Well, not the whole of me, but I kinda like the look wearing pure black and dancing shoes gives. Very sleek, and yes, I do have that shape, at least roughly. When it's all black, you can't really see the fat, so I guess I do have that V-shaped build. Somewhat.
One thing I must say I like about myself are my legs. I like them a lot. Very powerful. Probably the most muscular thing in my body, besides my mouth. It's the one part of my body that you can tell has muscles and not just fat. Hehe. And just to illustrate how powerful they are, I might want to relate how I almost broke someone's hip once by a playful roundhouse kick. Nothing powerful, at least, I didn't think so. Poor thing couldn't walk around after that.
Of course, I like my hair too. It's the only part of me I spend any significant amount of time on. Of course, that's gonna change soon. Working on the chest. They say dancers need powerful chests, so they can wear those tight tight shirts and look good. Like, there's this guy in class, Geoff, I think. He's got a very well defined chest, which is probably accentuated by the fact he always wears tight shirts. Fortunately for me, his skills leave much to be desired. And the weird thing is, I have a nicer head than he does. He looks kinda blank, empty, even. Haha.
Plus, he's short.
Hmm, everything's short from this height.
April demands I write more lemon. And use fudge. Maybe I will. Of course, just the fudge. No one said anything about writing, lolz.
I noticed this some time ago, but it just occured to me to write it. The guy at the bottom of the MSN box, the one in the match.com ad, looks EXACTLY like my cousin, Sing Kwan. Weird.
I need to buy some slacks for the performance. Gonna have to make it tight (woohoo, I think), cuz loose ones look like you have a saggy butt, or small cock, or something. Sadly, kinda almost reflects reality. And besides, loose pants get caught under your shoes and trip you up. And that's just plain annoying.
I think I'd look good in an all black ensemble: black long sleeved shirt, black slacks, black shoes, black socks, black briefs, black tie and black shades. Wakaka. Carry a scythe, or an M-16, and you get a rather modern Reaper. If I can get a nice set of blades, I can pass off as a vampire hunter.
Coolness. Now, I need to see Jeremy about that Gothic cosplay thing.
Out.
No, they are not fleas. Or lice. I am completely parasite free. Except for myself, of course.
If you're confused, then maybe for once you should try reading the title. I write them for a reason, you know.
Thoughts are running through my head. Better list them down in chronological order, even though that's not very logical.
College on Saturday feels much like college on Friday. Except that it sucks up one good weekend. Meh.
Distilled the fermented fruit juice we had in Chem lab today. At first, the whole room smelled like rotten fruit, which basically it was. Then, once we started purifying the alcohol, it began to smell like a bar, minus the cigarette smoke. Really nice. Mmm.
Fuck. The machines in college are really slow, and retarded. This morning I couldn't get my lab report printed because they didn't connect it properly in Lab 6. They should make it a point to change ALL the computers older than 3 years in Taylor's. Lab 5 got a whole new set. Really spanking, I heard. Gotta check where my fees are going to.
It's a good thing I didn't take the 'oppurtunity' to speak on 8tv. Apparently, it was this hyperactive, condescending, annoyingly preppy presenter who kept calling everyone 'sayang' asking blatantly retarded questions, in Taylor's conference room. How utterly embarassingly boring. And apparently some kid from the Engineering Department memorized some lines, cuz when they were trying to record what he said, the microphone malfunctioned. Then they asked him to repeat his 5 minute speech, he did so word for word. Dork. And it's not like I haven't seen the more exclusive rooms in Taylor's anyways. When the admin needs you, they need you. Kahkahkahkahkah.
I'm getting fat. I had a fuckload of stuff for lunch. Curried cabbage, a drumstick, two bowls of sea coconut, some noodles, chicken rice, lots of water. In that order. Ergh.
The people at Dance World want me to perform. Meh. I suck at performances. I went there after the chicken rice and mopping the floor, and didn't understand a single thing they were trying to teach. I'm a blur...
My libido has diminished. I wonder if I should get it checked. Meh.
I hate homework. And it don't like me much either.
Out.
Savage Garden's Affirmation is playing now. It's just a series of lines starting with "I believe". I wish I could even come up with half that number of things that apply to me. Maybe I should try.
I believe the world should bow itself upon my feet
I believe that happiness is self defeat
I believe that kissing is so nice because it feels so wrong
I believe you're the cause of your parents not singing songs
I believe that if I made sense it will be too soon
I believe that horniness can be fixed in an afternoon
I believe in luck what you get has nothing to your concern
I believe you can't appreciate real life if you have learnt
I believe that grass tastes bad burned on the side
I believe you don't feel too good after tasting fly
I believe that your love is not your sexuality
I believe that power is better than popularity
I believe people should eat with plates and bowls
I believe that we should hear what we should know
I believe that lack of money produces disgraced heirs
I believe that's why the rich should always share
I believe in luck what you get has nothing to your concern
I believe you can't appreciate real life if you have learnt
I believe that grass tastes bad burned on the side
I believe you don't feel too good after tasting fly
I believe forgiveness takes too much time
I believe that sometimes it's not necessary to rhyme
I believe that God understands the need to remain lost at times
I believe in love making wedding bells chime
I believe in luck what you get has nothing to your concern
I believe you can't appreciate real life if you have learnt
I believe that grass tastes bad burned on the side
I believe you don't feel too good after tasting fly
It would make a really funny song now, if only it made sense. I'm getting way over my own head, and I'm liable to drown.
Another thing to note is that cousin Jee Kwan is going back to London this weekend. Hope he had fun here. Didn't manage to catch a movie with him even after so many attempts. Meh.
Later today, about 7 hours time, I need to be in Taylor's. Blardy annoying replacement. Smoggy days, cancel class only lar! Apa pulak mau postpone. At any rate, it's lab tomorrow. And we're boiling fermented fruit juices. So that should be fun. Erk.
Lessee. I feel buff today. Not because I actually did anything special, only cuz I'm wearing a particularly tight shirt right now, and it squeezes the fat to make it look like I have blardy defined pecs. Mwahahaha.
I'm such a confused wreck. I want to be depressed enough to go into those horribly destructive moods that I used to be in. Those were fun.
I'm too fucked up right now to make much sense. Meh.
Incidentally, this is cool as fuck.
Out.
Edit: Changed the size of the gif file. Photobucket has this stupid tendency to reduce the size of everything. Meh.
