scribbles iv...

everybody knows...

... shit happens.

Taoism - if you understand shit, it isn't shit

Hinduism - this shit happened before

Confucianism - Confucius say "shit happens"

Buddhism - shit will happen to you again

Zen - what is the sound of shit happening?

Islam - if shit happens it is the will of Allah

Sikhism - leave our shit alone

Jehova's Witness - knock knock shit happens

Atheism - i don't believe this shit

Agnosticism - can you prove that shit happens?

Catholicism - if shit happens, you deserve it

Protestantism -shit happens, amen to that

Judaism - why does shit always happen to us?

Televangelism - send money or shit will happen to you

Rastafarianism - let's smoke this shit

Hare Krishna - shit happens rama rama

Nation of Islam - don't take no shit

New Age - visualize shit happening

Shintoism - you inherit the shit of your ancestors

Hedonism - i love it when shit happens

Satanism - sneppah tihs

Capitalism - this is MY shit

Feminism - men are shit

Existentialism - what is shit, anyway?

Scientology - if shit happens see Dianetics p.137

Mormonism - excrement happens (don't say shit)

Baptism - we'll wash the shit right off you

Mysticism - this is really weird shit

Voodoo - shit doesn't just happen, we made it happen

Mysticism - this is really weird shit

Disneyism - bad shit doesn't happen here

Communism - let's share the shit

Marxism - you have nothing to lose but your shit

Conspiracy theorism - THEY shit on us

Psycho-analysis - tell me about your shit

Darwinism - survival of the shittiest

Amish - modern shit is useless

Suicidal - i've had enough of this shit

Optimism - shit won't happen to me

Trekism - to boldly shit where no-one has shit before

Shakespearean - to shit or not to shit, that is the question

Descartes - i shit therefore i am

Freud - shit is a phallic symbol

Lawyers - for enough money, i can get you out of shit

Acupuncturist - hold still or this will hurt like shit

Dog - i just shit in your shoe

Cat - dogs are shit

Mouse - oh shit, a cat

Politically correct - internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens

Einstein - shit is relative

Family gathering - relatives are shit

Materialism - whoever dies with the most shit wins

Vegetarianism - if it happens to shit, don't eat it

Fatalism - oh shit, it's going to happen

Environmentalism - shit is biodegradable

Americanism - who gives a shit?

Statistician - shit is 84.7% likely to happen

Hip-hop - motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!

Tantrism - fuck this shit

Cynicism - we are all full of shit

Surrealism -fish happens

Wicca - you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times

-PyramidPosters.com

PyramidPosters are not responsible for shit happening.

binary purge...

Just to purge the card of a few interesting shots.

inanimate...

When I was a kid, I used to feel this overwhelming empathy for the inanimate. It was pretty damn difficult for me to dispose of anything. The overriding thought that would plague any decision to get rid of clutter was, "wouldn't it be absolutely disappointing if you were thrown away and couldn't do anything about it?"

There are many built-in pieces in the family home. Many feature pieces of furniture sealed to the walls with caulk, bolted to the foundations. The idea of moving meant that we had to abandon the furniture. Wouldn't they feel sad?

Suppose it was one too many Enid Blyton books that did that, what with inanimate toys wreaking unholy vengeance upon each other because of laughably minor quibbles.

This was further compounded when my dog died. She was a right bitch, that dog. The noisiest, drooliest, unruliest incestuous mongrel I had the pleasure to know. The first twinge came when she bore a litter to her own bloody sire (which was incidentally a mongrel stray which was the cause of the extraneous litter from whence I had extracted her), which we then had to give away. Was so sad the puppies were gone. At the age of two, and on my exact 12th year, the bitch keeled over from some disease we never heard about from the drunken alcoholic vet. (Incidentally, it was from this point onwards I've had very bad vibes on my birthday)

That said, I've never had a significant amount of empathy for fellow sentient primates. I hold a blanketing disdain for humanity as a type, with only individuals holding my liking and interest enough that I do not give in to an inner urge to purge the species. The things I see and hear only give me the fuel with which to stoke that hatred: humans are most often the lowest common denominator in any given system.

Vitriol aside, the move to the Land South numbed this empathy for the inanimate. It seems that detachment from the physical also results from the detachment of the heart. After more than 10 years, by my reckoning, the family home is to be traded in for a newer and sexier model. And guess what? I can't wait.

scribbles iii...

scribbles ii...

wash yo...

...mouth out with soap.

I ate a piece of soap by accident just now.

Ergh.