inanimate...

When I was a kid, I used to feel this overwhelming empathy for the inanimate. It was pretty damn difficult for me to dispose of anything. The overriding thought that would plague any decision to get rid of clutter was, "wouldn't it be absolutely disappointing if you were thrown away and couldn't do anything about it?"

There are many built-in pieces in the family home. Many feature pieces of furniture sealed to the walls with caulk, bolted to the foundations. The idea of moving meant that we had to abandon the furniture. Wouldn't they feel sad?

Suppose it was one too many Enid Blyton books that did that, what with inanimate toys wreaking unholy vengeance upon each other because of laughably minor quibbles.

This was further compounded when my dog died. She was a right bitch, that dog. The noisiest, drooliest, unruliest incestuous mongrel I had the pleasure to know. The first twinge came when she bore a litter to her own bloody sire (which was incidentally a mongrel stray which was the cause of the extraneous litter from whence I had extracted her), which we then had to give away. Was so sad the puppies were gone. At the age of two, and on my exact 12th year, the bitch keeled over from some disease we never heard about from the drunken alcoholic vet. (Incidentally, it was from this point onwards I've had very bad vibes on my birthday)

That said, I've never had a significant amount of empathy for fellow sentient primates. I hold a blanketing disdain for humanity as a type, with only individuals holding my liking and interest enough that I do not give in to an inner urge to purge the species. The things I see and hear only give me the fuel with which to stoke that hatred: humans are most often the lowest common denominator in any given system.

Vitriol aside, the move to the Land South numbed this empathy for the inanimate. It seems that detachment from the physical also results from the detachment of the heart. After more than 10 years, by my reckoning, the family home is to be traded in for a newer and sexier model. And guess what? I can't wait.