lunar new year...

Didn't quite like my previous attempt, so I'll start again.

The Chinese must be crazy. They base their calender on lunar cycles, so it's kinda no surprise that half of us are lunatics. That said, they have pretty profitable habits, as long as you fulfill certain criteria.

Eve

As with every year, dinner at Dad's Mum's (Ah Mah's).



Then it's sitting around the idiot box for some random chatting of sorts.



Day 1

After the tea ceremony (if you really want to know what that is, Google it), we went over to Ah Mah's for lunch.



After lunch, it's over to number 27, which is down the road from Darien's. MAHJONG MANIA!!!



Tai Kow Foo, if anything else, is most certainly the voice of amusement in the family.



Day 2

Day 2, straight to number 27 for more mahjong, dinner...



...and Loh Sang!



Day 3

Spent the day hanging out with CHSers. The process by which I came to actually be an associate of sorts is kind of strange and entirely clear to myself, but meh.

After picking up Wen, headed over to Dexter's place, with PokX waiting in the Red Box.



After a whole many rounds of blackjack...



...lunch. Not bad at all, except for the prawns and mushrooms.



Usually, I don't DotA, but in this case, I thought why not, after which we had dinner in this Italian place, which Miss Eva Thong will likely review.



Back to Dex's place for a random fire play, blackjack, and back home.



Day 4

Yesterday was a bit tamer than usual. To Auntie Heng's place for mahjong (you can never have enough of this)...



...Loh Sang (again)...



...and losing to about one of the most insanely difficult methods of all.



More to come.

sniff...

Ib ondi I cud tok proberlee. Dis sdupid sduffed dose is godda kill be. Bleargh...

pain...

We just got back from Giant. Anyone who knows my brother knows he's a pretty big talker, especially for a 5 year old kid. Dad went of to the ATM for supplies, and my brother ran off after him. And, as luck would have it, he tripped, scraped some skin off his knees, and began shrieking loud enough to wake the dead. Right now, he's saying he's going to die, he's going to die, he can't move, he can't do his homework, he can't go to school tomorrow.

Incidentally, my sister had similar wounds a few weeks past, if I recall correctly. And because of his rather amusing comments about it being insanely painful and how he'd never go to Giant again, and at that never go shopping again and that somehow it was all his sister's fault, I let out an tickled laugh. At that, my dad said something about me being like that.

As I recall, I am probably the one with the highest tolerances for pain. Take for instance that particularly interesting event that happened at 14. Most of you would probably know about it already, so in summary: apendicitis, 2 weeks ruptured, normally excruciating, felt nothing. Okay, fine. Maybe that doesn't mean I stand pain better, but likely have faulty nervous connections. Doesn't matter.

Of all the interesting ways to be pained, there are two that I'm almost absolutely not likely to experience are childbirth and period cramps. Given my readership demographics, it's better if I just ask this. Is it true that period cramps can hurt like your insides trying to get out?

Sometimes, I'm really grateful that I have an extension rather than a gatehouse.

not serious...

Decided to do a guys' girls-must-have list. Not particularly good, but I'm insanely stupid at this point, so it might somewhat make sense. Meh.

1. Males are designed to notice the innate beauty in things. Did you have a problem when we ogled you?

2. Stop gushing over those "hunky actors". Brad Pitt ain't that good looking.

3. If you wore more, erm, interesting, things, we'd probably treat you more, erm, interestingly.

4. Guys forget things. Including birthdays, anniversaries, and the like. You ARE dating a guy, no?

5. We think about you a lot. Just not all the time.

6. Sometimes, we also wait for your calls.

7. Guys don't take hints that well, at that.

8. We prefer NOT to be jealous. Likewise, we'd prefer it if you wouldn't either.

9. What's so funny about a limp guy?

10. Guys have short attention spans. Be late too often and we might conveniently forget we were on a date.

11. We tend to like your eyes, just not touching them.

12. If we take longer to get ready than you do, maybe it's a sign you aren't dressing up as much as we like.

13. We laugh at all sorts of things. Including ridiculous things.

14. When you ask if that dress makes your butt look fat, what do you REALLY want to hear? Thought as much.

15. Sometimes, we just need hangout time with our friends. Just like you do with yours.

16. If you start an argument, do not be surprised if we don't say anything. The alternative is much worse.

17. Sometimes, we take preferences on Mom over you. Please try to understand.

18. If we don't reply, it doesn't mean we didn't hear you.

19. You have more than enough clothes and shoes.

20. We have an excuse for avoiding you once a month, at least.

21. We believe that you are more than capable for opening that door and lowering that toilet seat yourself.

22. We love surprises, too.

23. We like to be kissed. Period.

24. We like it if you can wake up earlier and make us breakfast. Unless you can't cook, in which case we'd rather we did the cooking.

25. Our underwear choices should not matter to you, only what's UNDER the underwear.

26. Shaving is usually a good idea. Hairy legs on a girl be scary.

27. It takes a long period of cultivation for us to get our rooms the way they are. Asking us to uproot everything for your one hour visit is a bit much.

28. Even though we avoid you during those times of the month, we care for you. It's just that we care for ourselves, too.

29. The male ego is a fragile thing. Take care of it.

30. When we say no, we usually mean no.

31. When we're in love with someone, usually the dressing does not play a significant enough part for you to be obsessed about it.

32. Guys have certain needs that you may not always be willing to fulfill.

33. Girls that you can be friends with and make love to are REALLY great.

34. Stop comparing us to your numerous ex-es.

35. We forget. Forgiveness is key to any relationship.

36. Sometimes we want more than a cuddle.

37. Guys tend to be outspoken.

38. Guy says nothing = something is wrong.

39. When we say we can't dance, we usually can't. *see 29*.

40. Just because a guy doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean he wasn't waiting.

41. We don't have to spend a lot. We usually mean that more than what we spend.

42. You don't have to say anything. We know you love us.

43. If you lie to us, we won't mind. In fact, it's a perfectly valid excuse for us to start lying, too.

44. When guys get together, we have fun. Our buddies won't know anything much about you, unless it's about the sex.

Sigh. No brain mass to process this crap.

argh...

What the hell is wrong with me?!?!??!!?

dream interpretation...

I had one of the kinkiest dreams of my life last night, at least, one of the kinkiest I do remember. The details are a bit too, erm, gory, to describe in public publishing, but all that you need to know was that it was a gay orgy with very, erm, familiar, people, following up by a rather extreme bondage session.

Ever notice how real your dreams feel at the point? And in my case, at least, it always feels perfectly normal, as if you'd do it all the time in real life. Like the dream I had where I could fly. There was no questioning, like it was an expected thing. And when you wake up, it's a different thing entirely, and it's almost disappointing that it wasn't real.

Lucid dreaming, that strange ability some of us have where we can control our actions in a dream. How many of you have lucid dreams? Do you like to direct your own night action sequences, or do you normally sit and stay for a preplanned ride? With me, it almost always is a directed shot.

So all that said, ever wonder what your dreams mean, if they mean anything at all? Taking into account last night's dream, the fact that it was real as real can be, and that I could basically have decided to change the dream had I wanted to, what did last night mean? Assuming, as many psychologists do, that dreams are a manifestation of our deepest and darkest desires/fears/wants/needs/blah, that would mean I'm a closet gay, even to my own conciousness.

Aiya, dunno la. You psychology students help me la.

Okay, that done, I'll make this a nonsensically long post by doing a little something I found at the Old Jeans Depot.

In italics are my opinions on generically female opinions. Haha. Opiniated opinions.

1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.
You'd rather we just ogle?

2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Depends really. I rarely keep my thoughts to myself. If you can't stand it, you'd best make sure you find someone you can.

3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria's Secret Models.
If we did act like soap opera guys, you'd think we wanted a fuck all the time. And if you did dress like Victoria's Secret models, we would, lolz.

4. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
You like men ruled by a stack of papers? I thought electronics and sports kinda killed the appeal, let alone inanimate, nonresponsive objects.

5. We think about you all the time.
Then you gotta seriously either get a dog, or pick up knitting.

6. This is how we see it : Don't call = Don't care.
We see it as giving you personal space. Or we ran out of credit.

7. Which also means that if we don't call, take a hint.
Very few guys wait by the phone. Those who do are probably sexually deprived stalkers.

8. We like you to be a little jealous. But overly possessive is not necessary.
Make up your mind...

9. Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than knowing how much you can bench-press.
Being confident enough to bench press 100 allows us to make stupid nonsensical jokes.

10. We're allowed to be late. You're not.
Also the same way guys are allowed to sleep around, eh?

11. Eye contact is the key.
Yes, but eye contact with whom?

12. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
I don't see how that's even remotely possible.

13. Laugh at our jokes.
The male sense of humour is something that most girls do NOT want to be acquainted with, believe me.

14. 3 words: honesty, honesty, honesty!
Likewise, eh?

15. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.
Any guy who would go groupie is definitely suffering from a testosterone deficiency, and therefore hardly could be defined as male.

16. Do not start with us. You will not win.
Do not start with ME. Being female does NOT give you the winning edge. Mwahahaha.

17. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? Didn't think so.
You really think that would make a difference?

18 If you ask nicely, we'll answer the same way.
Maybe.

19. We will never have enough clothes or shoes.
And we'll never have enough sex either.

20. We have an excuse for being bitchy at least once a month.
I suppose that's the same reason rapists can use as well...

21. Open the door for us no matter where we are.
It's a habit for me.

22. We love surprises.
Some things are best left unknown, really.

23. We like to be kissed softly. Not with an iron tongue.
Iron tongue? Sadness.

24. Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
Subtleties only really work when the big things are flops, leh.

25. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes.Never tighty-whities!
Why not?

26. Always brush your teeth before you see us. A fresh mouth and white teeth are a neccessity.
Understood.

27. Clean your room before we come over.
My room is cleaner than most girls' leh.

28. Even though you're sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
Erm, okay. Now I feel like a jerk.

29. Don't act hard around your friends.
Tak faham leh.

30. Sometimes "NO" really means "NO!".
I always assume that No means No.

31. "Wife beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
What's a wife beater?

32. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star. NOT your girlfriend.
If we wanted porn stars, we'd buy video tapes.

33. Sensitive guys are great.. but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
Make up your minds...

34. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
I thought it was more of a female field where the ex-es caused high profile soap operas?

35. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
Well, yes, but since I forget my own birthday as well, you can hardly expect me to remember anything else.

36. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
Eh, oh-kay...

37. "Fat chicks" have feelings, too.
I don't stereotype leh. And your feelings are also subject to mine, as in, I think what I think, you feel what you feel.

38. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling, & nasty looks add up to = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.
I noticed...

39. The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable.We'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.
I CAN dance.

40. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring, doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.
Waiting by the phone? Why would you do that? Get the phone to wait beside you.

41. You don't have to spend a lot; if it means a lot.
Especially if you're always broke like me.

42. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.
Then again, if we didn't say anything...

43. Don't lie to us. We will catch you.
And then?

44. When the girls get together, we talk about everything. meaning, my best friends know everything about you.
Yes, and all that stuff about penis size and what have you. Is it genetic that girls should have one shared conciousness?

I'd do my own list of girls-must-haves, but I'm really not picky. Maybe someone out there would like to take that up, eh?

tagging...

Blog tags, I think, are kind of like toe tags. Getting one is a sure sign that you have no life. This particular death herald is from Liz.

1) Write an entry of between 100-200 words, with these words have to be included once, and only once:

- I
- me
- blowjob
- grapes
- random
- power
- loneliness
- water
- robot
- blue

2) Out of the 10 words, you can only change 2 words.

I changed 'I' to 'cherries', and 'me' to 'flowering'.


3) Your essay must make some kind of sense. If it's not cool, then it won't get published.


4) Send to 5 people.

Suet.

PokX.

Suan.

Adam.

Kai.

Here we go. This is rather more explicit than others, so you know what to do.

The pastry chef had enough. This was the seventh time this week that a customer had returned the souffle. It wasn't his fault that the head waiter moaned so loudly in the broom closet during each of his daily blowjobs that the hostess was bribing him with for the dinner shift. Each time, just as the light sugary fluffiness that was the Bistro's special was perfecting, Jorge had to make this unearthly groaning and the resulting sound waves flattened the flowering dessert.

"I'm telling you, Jorge, this is the final fucking time I'm putting up with your broom closet antics. It's a good thing that you don't go down on her."

"I tell you Hans, that girl has one of the most beautiful cherries of his fine city's orchards," the sniggering head waiter, err, sniggered.

"Fucking in the staff rest room, I can take. But this random excursions to the broom closet are extremely disruptive to the dessert production. Mess it up for me one more time, and I'll see to it that the only 'cherries' you ever get in this city's 'orchards' are sour grapes."

Meanwhile, in the back alleys, Hilde and Fran were chatting over a Cuban joint.

"I tell you, Fran, that Jorge is a tiring man to please. If it wasn't that my rent was several times the GDP of a small African country, I wouldn't try to get the dinner shift so often."

"Well, dahling, at least you're seeing some action. My old man's like a robot, so there's nothing a horny bitch like me can do. Hmm, maybe I should try for the dinner shift too..."

The hostess laughed at the barmaid's comment.

"As is, ol' Jorge ain't that much of a lover. With two of us going after him, he's gonna have some real watery cum!"

Back in the Bistro, Jose, the gay Mexican waiter, was sitting around, waiting for the lunch crowd to disperse. He was flipping a wine opener in his hands, staring blankly at the plainface brick wall. Myra walked up to him.

"Why so blue, Jose?"

"Mi novio se separó conmigo..."

"Well darling, if you weren't gay, I'd go out with you."

"Sí, and if I weren't gay, I'd fuck you, too, chica."

"Hmm, yes. Well, what say you we go for supper tonight. At least something for us both to forget our loneliness with?"

"¿Cuando amigos, sí?"

"Yes, Jose," laughed the curvaceous blonde Myra.

From within, the pissed off voice of Hans echoed like a bad wind out of a bean stuffed glutton.

"Myra! Will you please get the fucking hostess and head waiter out of the fucking broom closet! Do it now or I'll get out the power sander!"

Hmm, didn't make any sense. Joda.