dos décadas...

Only one week before I'm relegated to the pile of dusty, dessicated, husks.

Maybe in lieu of being young, I can act like the immature monstrosity that I am, which, judging by the mirror's opinion, I have achieved in a most stellar fashion.

Maybe I should pick up a foreign language, just so I can say this:

Hablar acerca de mi vida muy rara y en su mayor parte no existente del sexo es muy relleno de alma. Como obtener un enema de moco hirviente de nariz.

Even the grammar and context are thrown totally out of whack. I bet them crazy tequila-marinated Argentinians are having a field day, with a digusting array of snorts and glomps over my linguistic kerfuffle.

I think all I really want is the spiffy lappie I configured so love-rley. Or something. I booster box would be nice, too.

Or mebbe it's one more year I should spend in quiet contemplation on how I failed to achieve any of the objectives I set last year.

two faced...

Humility is the worst possible form of arrogance a person can partake.

leashed...

A great follower listens, then does what he's been told.

A great leader listens, then does exactly what he wants.

sheep-ify...

Today I had the funniest thought. Then I realized it wasn't so much funny than it was dangerously ironic. But the important part is, I forgot what the thought was about.

Nobody cares, of course. Nobody cares about the stray thinker in a flock of ovines. Nobody cares that the black fleece doesn't quite match with the monotonous dirty white of the others. If he was dirty, nobody would notice; dirt doesn't show up as well.

It was once observed that a whole flock of sheep flung themselves off a cliff after they saw one of their own accidentally fall over. If everyone threw themselves off a cliff, would you?

The black sheep likewise wanted to follow. But he wasn't one to fling himself off a cliff. No, no. If he was going to follow popular sentiment, he would at least do it his way. Instead, he took a convenient rocky outcropping leading down. Where he found a pile of unprocessed mutton. Feeling confused, the black sheep went off to join the cows.

regrettary...

All the regret you can put in a sea will be worth less than a wisp of the same vapour if you cannot make salt out of it.

Don't tell me you're sorry and that you'll change. I'd believe you, I'd most delightfully believe you. Except I don't.

Don't tell me you regret it. You don't. If you're gonna make a show, make it a good one. Make it a big production with the bright lights and flouncy costumes, with a grand 300 piece orchestra, ready for a packed audience, with the only one you're out to convince not buying it at all.

Indeed, you don't owe me anything. Unless you took it from me, and it wasn't a gift. I understand if you don't know the value of things and time borrowed. Nothing and everything ever belongs to us. What is mine is mine and it isn't, all at once. If you understand that, you know the only difference in your returning it ultimately lies with whether or not I'll find you worth my effort noticing.

If the idea is too much, don't strain yourself. You're only worth so much to me as you try to be.

mars and venus...

Men are from Mars...
Women are from Venus...
They have vaginas...
And I have a penis...

From personal experience, I can say, that sometimes, we aren't all that different after all.

trumped...

I set me up an automated system. Should be able to scratch together a bundle by year's end. Or somewhat. That new lappie looks well within reach.

I'm constantly being foiled by absolutely obscene eating habits. Not one of my meals so far can account for being non-fat-inducing. Either shape up, or ship out. In other words, if I can't find one that fits in the category, I just skip it entirely. On a related note, it's SOOOO difficult to induce an eating disorder.

Strange how I end up being everybody's replacement boyfriend. It's not like I'm hawt or even funny, or even particularly sensitive or caring.

What's it feel like to finish an assignment The moment you hear about it (assuming that the moment you hear about it isn't the moment it's due)? Total absolute PWNAGE!!!

I have a cash fetish.