small things...

It takes only a series of small pains to drive anyone insane. A huge loss we can deal with. We become numb, things are not clear.

Today it's increasingly clear that it only takes a few small things to set me off.

I find myself talking to stuffed toys, finding more comfort in the cotton and synthetic fluff than people whose sham lives are an equally condemning reflection of your own.

All you need sometimes is just a little good news to make a tragic day good enough.

Fuck you, 3G Hutchinson. Fuck you and your fucking abysmal customer service policies. The moment the contract runs out, you won't see a fucking dime from me.

quick paces...

Is like dealing with faces.

Deluge of workload and dealing with it like a rock deals with a flood.

Got robbed Thursday, got replacement items on Friday, still need things to help the girls because they're frankly not too good with dealing with the issues.

The enthusiasm of the police here is refreshing from the frothing apathy you would expect from police elsewhere.

Is broke broke, and doesn't look like I'm moving out anytime soon, although fortune might dictate bigass lottery win, no?

trust...

Today, I have come to the relatively un-startling conclusion that I cannot trust anyone. Or rather, there is nobody I can trust.

I can't trust my family because they are either too blind to see, or they just would rather now know.

I can't trust my friends because they will tell me things I want to hear, or things I need to hear in a way that is the same as not hearing it at all.

I can't trust my acquaintances, because they are superficial at best.

I can't trust my enemies because they are all dead.

I can't trust strangers because 80% of the people in the world are stupid, and statistically, that invalidates 95% of the things said to me by strangers because the stupid ones talk the most.

I can't trust my teachers because I am naturally distrustful of designated authority. So by extension, everyone who is "higher" that I am.

I can't trust religion, because let's face it, religion is stupid and FOR the stupid.

I can't trust people on random fora, because they are strangers, which draws back to the above.

I can't trust him, because much as his intentions are good, there are just too many good things that we had that he threw away for the inconsequential, and the occasionally downright insulting.

And I can't trust myself.

No, not even myself.

corrections...

As much as we desire to correct the world around us to our understanding, often-time, the better reality to live is to allow them to fail in accordance to existing truths.

It is of no benefit to the self to sacrifice much so that those who have neither the capacity nor the will to think should gain from it. The greater good isn't that there are champions to save us, but that we should all strive to attain such great heights.

The glory of benefiting a society that cares not enough to better themselves by their individual parts, but to rely on the labours of the select few to raise them can only be brought down low when the few tire of shoddy treatment. Even worse when they willfully subjugate themselves under yokes of their own making.

There is no point trying to save them from themselves. The religious will always lay their fates and fortunes at the feet of an uncaring deity. The lazy will always hope that social mores will compel the productive into helping them fend. The stupid will not know the difference, and doom themselves into a life of pathetic ignorance.

If you have to pray, you have already failed the goals your god has set you. If you have to wait, already the grains in your hourglass elude your grasp. If you have to check the solution sheet at the back of the textbook, maybe you should just repeat the fucking unit.

gazing...

We all need something definite to look forward to. Otherwise, every day is meaningless.

I think I lost most of what there was to look forward to in life. Every day since then has been devoid of reason and purpose.

I should find something to give me a high.

win...

Oh yeah.

pretti-fication...

I'll say that the project is coming along nicely. Arms are getting nice and built, and nicely bulked chest, and I'm pretty sure the core is doing well under those inches of fat.

I read somewhere that sculpting an elephant is simple. You simply take a large block of of stone or whatever, and take off whatever doesn't look like an elephant. Hopefully there's some hot underwear model under all this flab.

Seems like buying the marble is a lot easier than chipping it off.