nothing to say

It's strange how I never have anything to say, but so much to write. I'm a really bad person to see up close. I have terrible skin, I look quite fat and dumpy (which is augmented while wearing yellow, cuz then I look like a big yellow lemon), I'm loud and obnoxious, and I have very very bad habits, that will lead to appearing very crude and unrefined. To top that off, I am told I have a ver condescending tone, as well as coming across as arrogant. Wow. I am THAT fascinating.

Now the trick is, how the hell should I sell myself as a person? Yeah, I already have a girl (I love you, Wen!), but if I were to sell myself like I was a product, I'd have to show off all the good points, and if possible render the bad points irrelevant. The problem being now is that I have very few good traits, if at all, to sell, and many many many bad ones to cover, or render unimportant. Tricky tricky, but I need to do this if I'm to get a job.

Take a good view, and the bad points will pounce on you like a horny chihuahua on Viagra. Damn, those little buggers can go on and on and on. First off, like I said, I'm fat. Like seriously. That would imply very little care for myself, and also a distinct lazy streak. Not to mention physically incompetant. Not a good worker, for one thing, laziness. Another trait that's gonna really screw the sale is my unkempt appearance. I look like some sort of refuge camp inmate, quite often. And the dry hair just fucks it all up. My clothes are mostly passe, which states my taste as being fairly bad. Likewise, my hair's all lala, also a bad indicator of fashion sense. Poor skin condition, aggravated by genetics, fucks up the appearance category. My parents say I look like a leprosy victim. Ergh. Now to the mental defects. I'm arrogant, and condescending. Many people can vouch for that. Just ask around. I have no tact, very little smarts, less wisdom, no intelligence. All three states of mental perfection all fucked. How wonderful is that? Oh, my physical as well as mental coordination is all out. It's like I'm some retard or something. Oh oh, let's also not forget my absolute inability to be romantic. Which is amplified by my absolute lack of money with which to even attempt to remedy that. It's too bad this page is in a very very public domain populated by people who know me, if not I would talk about my sexual deficiencies too. Lolz, just pulling some legs there.

Now the positive part. *crickets in the background* Woaho. Nothing? Can't you people give me even one? No? You know what? I'm gonna lie face down on the floor now and cry. The truth hurts. It sears and burns us... Why doesss the fat hobbitssess hatessss usss? Ergh. Okay, okay, seriousness. I can bake. At least ONE person I know finds guys who can cook at all attractive. Also, apparently an ability to write poetry is attractive too. Too bad I don't actually know what my poems mean. Hmm, music? Well, I do play the piano, but it is hampered by my lack of physical coordination. A retard, that's what I am. My big fat body is useful for carrying stuff apparently. That seems to be a practical use for me. Not too bad. And also, I can carry heavy stuff to. Did I mention I can carry heavy things? Oh. I did. Crap. Now I have nothing left to say. *more crickets* Malaikat lalu. Or in other words, fat man passing through. Ah yes, got one more thing to say, I'm good at crapping even when there's nothing worth talking about. And it will sound sensible, unlike when I talk like I normally do. Hmm.

In comparison, I'd say I am deep within the red zone, red being a dangerous color, because it attracts attention and is therefore most likely to be a color used to indicate danger. Mwahaha! I suppose this is why females confuse me. At least one of their number can effectively find me attractive, and manage to seduce me (lusty lusty insaniac on the loose!), turning my world upside down, making me happy with myself for the first time in my life, making life worth living (at least meanwhile), and actually loving me for all that crap. Incredible. If it weren't such a good feeling, I'd have her locked up in some hospital for insanity, then bludgeon myself to death with a miniature sattelite dish just so that no other female could make that same mistake again. Mwahahaha! Sigh, this is what happens when you don't go to sleep before 10. Going insane. Wen's gonna kill me. I wish she would. Then she would be free from my evil influnce. Mehness.

I'm crying. For some reason, my eyes are tearing. Can't control it. Probably something wrong with my brain, not there wasn't any problems in the first place. Hmm, thinking of getting a piercing tomorrow. I wonder if a piercing in the nether regions would clear all this fog up. I wonder if they do it here at all. Maybe I should try one myself. Pray for me. Hope I don't botch up an ampallang, lolz. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry. I'm rambling on and on about something I don't have the guts (cuz I'm missing an appendix, lolz) to try. As it is, my lips burn for the touch of hers. Eew, Jin is being so disgusting... I can feel that emanate through your minds. Like, whateverrrr...

Hmm, it's strange. This post is still a lot shorter than what I normally write. I think it's about 1000 words long. Or rather, one thousand words short. Fuckness. This lack of seeing Wen is really driving me nuts. Damn it, I'm male, I'm young, and while I may be mentally different and retarded in every other way, I still have urges. Like urges to see her. Naked. You didn't see that. Argh. Sleep deprivation keeps my mind dead. It always was. I wonder how this post would look like after it goes through the editing department of the Star. Hmm. Mehness.

I love Wen! Jin out.

chibified class...

Was just looking through some of my old pictures, came across this collection. Our good friend Niena has an excellent hand in this. Fantastic. Just thought I'd post them so you can see what my class looks like chibified. I would have posted an actual picture of the class, except that we weren't all in it, and I looked like the absolute retard I used to look like. Hmm, actually, I am still a retard. Oh well. See if you can tell which is mine...

Jin out.

Proof sheet 4 

Proof sheet 3 

Proof sheet 2 

Proof sheet 1 

chain of events?

Well, some of you wanted to know how Wen and I met, right? I've repeated the story so many times that it's quite pointless doing it again. So I decided to write it out. Unlike grandfather stories, this one will not pull all the stops out, because I'm just too lazy to go into the mind-boggling detail. It still stuns me sometimes. Besides, I thought it would be good material as a sample of my work to show a newspaper publisher, and I really really want to get a writing job. I need the money, like seriously.

It’s amazing what a little chain of seemingly unrelated circumstance can do for you. You know how one choice can take you to another set of choices, which in their turn yield their own choices? Like take for instance my current, and to date, one and only (hopefully), girlfriend. It was a random chain of events that lead to my meeting her at all, which is probably quite interesting in itself.

I suppose it would be logical to start at the most critical point. About two years ago, I made it up that I would be going to this specific college. I was also more or less determined that I would enroll in this specific program. That was in Form 4. After the SPM, I made it a point to finally register. It happens that there was this guy who was in the same program. Well, like, duh, of course there’s another guy in the program. During the first English class, we were assigned into groups, and I wound up in the same group as this guy. Anyways, it turns out that he shared about three classes with me, and also had the same break time. And since we were both new to college, we basically had no friends, my reason being that all my friends were either in the National Service, or were waiting for the SPM results, or were in some other program, and his were about the same.

Anyways, it turns out that we were both in need of having lunch buddies, and sharing so many classes, it made perfect sense to hang out together. After much chatting, I discovered that he blogged (those not informed on what this is, what is WRONG with you?!?!?), and so did I. Eventually we decided to link each other’s pages, and it turns out that a specific friend of his found her way to my page.

She liked what she read, and added my to her MSN IM list (those of you who don’t know what this is, also need to have your updated-ness checked, like seriously). We chatted for about a few weeks. Then one day she said she was bored, and wanted to meet up for a movie or something. So I was like, yeah, that’s fine. So the day was arranged, and we met up in MidValley.

Went in to watch Hitch, and boy, was she right when she said she was tall. In fact, I only recall knowing a few girls as tall as she was. Yeah, I’m a good 6 feet tall, but it’s quite rare for me to see a 5’7” girl. And immediately, I felt she was kinda cute, too. After the movie, which she paid for (still much to my embarrassment), we went to grab in ice-cream at Baskin’ Robbins, a rum raisin for me and a mint chocolate chip for her, if I am not mistaken. Then we spent the next two to three hours walking around randomly around the shops. Then at around 7-ish, I had to catch a train home. As we parted, she told me she had a great time, and she was playing with her keys (any of you who had watched Hitch will know what it means). To this day, I have no idea whether or not she was serious, and still quite regretful I didn’t take advantage of it.

Anyways, about three weeks went by, with much random correspondence between me and her. One day, I received a message from her that was not meant for me, rather to a friend whose name was spelt almost like mine. Anyways, before I had a chance to read it, another message swiftly came telling me NOT to read the message, ignore it, whatever. And as human nature dictates, I went ahead and read it. What was in there really confused me, to say the least. Anyways, it was about a day after my 18th birthday, and I was too busy wit college assignments and whatnot to try to decipher it, but it left me with a very whacked out mood. Anyways, I slowly prodded for an answer, and it was delivered about two days after, if I remember correctly. I remember playing the piano at the time. The message came halfway through. I recall not being to play straight after that. That was the first time a girl ever told me she liked me. Really, I’m quite a sad, sad, person. So it came as a shocker. Quite.

On the 9th of April 2005, she asked me if I was willing to officially start a relationship with her. Three days into being 18, and already a present like this? Incredible. And to think I was dreading being 18. Anyways, I accepted (which is kinda like a stickling point with me, because I wanted to be the one to ask, but was too unsure to do anything, but I made that up by saying I would accept if she accepted mine.), and it’s been about a month so far. Wonderful, wonderful experience so far, quite unlike what I’ve tasted as yet. Not a bad way to start an adult life.

Taken this example, we can observe that a random and seemingly unrelated chain of events can lead up to this result. Also note that what appeared to be an error also caused a greater good than a calculated measure might have. Maybe it’s something to learn from: that not all mistakes are bad, and not all deliberate actions are good, discounting of course the notions of moral good and bad, but pertaining it towards the idea of achievement. If this part seems complicated to you, it’s because it is. Like, duh, no brainer? But if you really want to see how a random chain of events in your life link up, try doing something unconventional. Then just follow and note the chain that forms. Enjoy.

I love Evon! Jin out.